I am disquieted in spirit.
Thinking back on the weekend I can point to several basic points in which this disquiet could have entered and, most probably, did.
I do not generally speak ill of a fellow performer at this point in my life. I have in the past but I decided conciously to put that behind me. About the only person who I will say what I really think to about anyone in particular is my BF. She gets that it isn't meant to hurt anyone and its just my personal feelings. Other people, no matter who they are might be offended by this expression and its best to keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself on most occasions.
This weekend I had a very special opportunity. My music director is also a cover conductor for the NSO in Washington DC. He regularly works with Marvin Hamilisch. So, my Bf and I went to hear Shirley Jones and Patrick Cassidy in a partially staged version of "The Music Man". I really wanted to be impressed. . . I really wasn't. Now, the same afore alluded to Music Director is also the director of a 175 voice Chorale in which I sing. We also do staged versions of musicals and, I must say, we do it MUCH better. Mr. Hamlisch, while a nice man - had a brief exchange with him backstage, and Mr. Cassidy - also equally as kind - are not what I expected them to be. Marvin Hamlisch should take lessons from my friend the music director - not on how to play the piano - but on how to be exciting! And Mr. Cassidy - should just take lessons. His mother, Shirley Jones, does pretty well in the older roles but should definitely not do solo repertoire anymore. So, I guess I'm hypercritical of things I pay good money to see.
Fast foward the evening to the end. Backstage - meet Marvin Hamlisch, meet Patrick Cassidy - good. Off for a drink with music director friend. We're enjoying perfectly pleasant conversation when a member of the City Chorus who provided the chorus for the perfomance sits down next to our music director friend and the talk comes around to what we do in Annapolis. "You can find 175 people who can sing there?" "What do you do with all those fisherman"" Ah hah, musical snobbery turned onto my chorus! Fisherman. .. bah. What does she think he's doing? Making music on sailboats.
Now it's Sunday Morning. We practice (me after getting in really, really late). We're up and running. Music Director, organist,choir. The point in the service where we are to sing arises - up pops someone who doesn't believe that she needs to practice with the choir in order to sing. Appalling. Guess what? I don't have to either - that's not the point.
Music making. Isn't it about "being there". Not for the wonderfulness of who you are. Lord knows the world doesn't need any one of us as much as we need all of us. I'm not a gift to the music world. The music world is a gift to me. I receive from the world of music far more than I can quantify in numbers of pieces of music I've sung, being perfectly on pitch, or being just capable. I'm all of the above and can sing with any chorus in the country. Yep, I'm that good. What do I choose to do? I choose to invest my time in a group of genuine people who care. I've chosen to invest my time in making excitement happen for me and the people who hear us. I choose to think that while I'm a musical snob about charging me lots of money to hear inferior singing - that music is a higher calling than who sings what or who sings better.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Gloria in Excelsis Deo and Plato
John Rutter and the Gloria are meant for one another. I was talking with a fellow blogger and a fantastic musician. It was his contention that while Rutter may lack the depth and breadth of Brahms, Mozart, Verdi - maybe all you need for a fantastic Gloria is pure joy. I experienced that joy while singing the Rutter this weekend. Once again, not everyone gets that rush. Not everyone gets the opportunity to sing the most amazing stuff!
On the flip side, very mundane and earthy - it was a tough night for a lot of folk. Because of the need to set up for a reception in the area where we line - up, the "butt to chair" ration was about 4:1. Some people were left standing - literally. That's unfortunate and, believe me, with my plantar fasciitis I felt their pain. . .again, literally. Sigh. Oh, that everyone might suffer in silence or at least grab a friend and start a complaining team but just keep it between the two of you. Unfortunately that was not the case.
I am in a position where I "know stuff". I am, unbeknownst to most of the Chorale, the chorus manager. I do stuff behind the scenes for the chorus that they have no idea is being done. However, on concert night I become the chorus point person. Line up, organization, information - that's me. Hopefully I do it with style and grace. Last night reminded me why I've learned a lot of life lessons in the last three years.
I was innocently talking with a tenor friend when a bass approached me. I openly looked at him as he approached and the first words out of his mouth were angry, "So, I'm supposed to stand up all night". I tried to explain, calmly and rationally, how this had all transpired (remember, I'm standing and DID stand the whole time before going on stage). He would not hear the explanation and accept the unfortunateness of the situation. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't really care if it was a major donor event he'd take his dues and leave the Chorale. One of our Executive Board members was informed of this discussion and asked me to get the attention of the Chorale, which I did. I then stepped aside. Again, most unfortunately, the manner in which information about the lack of chairs was communicated with the chorus was less than desirable. After that, a maelstrom of bad feeling poured forth. Between our Marketing Director and myself, we fielded a dozen or so injuries to soul. Again, terribly bad timing, a Chorale member decided they would personally take to task a remarkably kind woman who works for Maryland Hall - in effect circumventing the Chorale staff to vent their spleen on a Maryland Hall worker. Once again, the Marketing director goes into action to pour oil on that troubled water.
At that time, I determined, in consultation with the MD that I should say something to the chorus. My best friend, who warms up the chorus and assists the Conductor, did a few warmups and then I took the bench - the piano bench - and, praying fervently to God for the right words, attempted to put into perspective how the evening had started. "Be Kind to everyon, for you do not know the struggles of another person". I think that, with the Lords help, I managed to sooth some troubled spirits.
When anyone thinks that what I do with the Chorale gleans special privilege or honor. When anyone thinks that I do it as a form of self-aggrandizement. I have to say - that before I took this job back this time, I thought long and hard about where I was as a person. I've learned an incredible amount of things in the last three years: Admit when you are wrong, Just because you survived it doesn't mean it was ever okay, and a soft answer always turns away wrath. More often than not, it is not the good stuff the staff gets to hear. We are there to solve problems - unfortunately some of the problems we have to solve are the problems that some of our own staff start. . . .
I took this job on because of the chorus and how much I care about them. Some do not believe that. Standing in my shoes last night -- processing everyone else's ills - - -and then being able to lay it aside and sing glorious music-- that takes practice. It's the same way I got to Carnegie Hall! Peace be with you ALL
On the flip side, very mundane and earthy - it was a tough night for a lot of folk. Because of the need to set up for a reception in the area where we line - up, the "butt to chair" ration was about 4:1. Some people were left standing - literally. That's unfortunate and, believe me, with my plantar fasciitis I felt their pain. . .again, literally. Sigh. Oh, that everyone might suffer in silence or at least grab a friend and start a complaining team but just keep it between the two of you. Unfortunately that was not the case.
I am in a position where I "know stuff". I am, unbeknownst to most of the Chorale, the chorus manager. I do stuff behind the scenes for the chorus that they have no idea is being done. However, on concert night I become the chorus point person. Line up, organization, information - that's me. Hopefully I do it with style and grace. Last night reminded me why I've learned a lot of life lessons in the last three years.
I was innocently talking with a tenor friend when a bass approached me. I openly looked at him as he approached and the first words out of his mouth were angry, "So, I'm supposed to stand up all night". I tried to explain, calmly and rationally, how this had all transpired (remember, I'm standing and DID stand the whole time before going on stage). He would not hear the explanation and accept the unfortunateness of the situation. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't really care if it was a major donor event he'd take his dues and leave the Chorale. One of our Executive Board members was informed of this discussion and asked me to get the attention of the Chorale, which I did. I then stepped aside. Again, most unfortunately, the manner in which information about the lack of chairs was communicated with the chorus was less than desirable. After that, a maelstrom of bad feeling poured forth. Between our Marketing Director and myself, we fielded a dozen or so injuries to soul. Again, terribly bad timing, a Chorale member decided they would personally take to task a remarkably kind woman who works for Maryland Hall - in effect circumventing the Chorale staff to vent their spleen on a Maryland Hall worker. Once again, the Marketing director goes into action to pour oil on that troubled water.
At that time, I determined, in consultation with the MD that I should say something to the chorus. My best friend, who warms up the chorus and assists the Conductor, did a few warmups and then I took the bench - the piano bench - and, praying fervently to God for the right words, attempted to put into perspective how the evening had started. "Be Kind to everyon, for you do not know the struggles of another person". I think that, with the Lords help, I managed to sooth some troubled spirits.
When anyone thinks that what I do with the Chorale gleans special privilege or honor. When anyone thinks that I do it as a form of self-aggrandizement. I have to say - that before I took this job back this time, I thought long and hard about where I was as a person. I've learned an incredible amount of things in the last three years: Admit when you are wrong, Just because you survived it doesn't mean it was ever okay, and a soft answer always turns away wrath. More often than not, it is not the good stuff the staff gets to hear. We are there to solve problems - unfortunately some of the problems we have to solve are the problems that some of our own staff start. . . .
I took this job on because of the chorus and how much I care about them. Some do not believe that. Standing in my shoes last night -- processing everyone else's ills - - -and then being able to lay it aside and sing glorious music-- that takes practice. It's the same way I got to Carnegie Hall! Peace be with you ALL
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