I'm worried.
I'm worried that not enough time is left for the Chamber Chorus to pull off their part in the Rachmaninoff Vespers. I am probably worrying unnecessarily - but still. The full chorus has the full support of oer 120 people. The Chamber Chorus has to hold up their end of the tent by themselves.
It remains to be seen if they have the work ethic to do so.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Russian Roulette
If you were to look at my music for the Rachmaninoff Vespers right now - you'd think I had totally lost my mind. There are arrows going every which way. I have doublings upon doublings - weird leaps from tenor to alto to second soprano. I love it. It's challenging.
I have no criticism for my fellow singers. Everyone is doing a beautiful job of struggling with the Russian and taking the markings and doing their level best to get it done. We have some time. It will all work - it always does.
I do have one worry. I sing with the Chamber Chorus. What I am very worried about is that they will fall short of the mark. They MUST rehearse on their own time. They have to sit down and go through rhythms and words (so much more important than the notes) If you can get one thing under your belt that you do not have to worry about then you can concentrate on the notes. I fear, however, that their lackadaisical, keep it in the back seat between rehearsals approach is going to rear it's ugly head. It's my same rant: if you say you're elite - be elite. I know that our Mo. is bringing in "ringers" for this concert. I double-dog dare ANYONE to object. He's going to bring them in because the sound isn't right - the sopranos are not big enough for Russian; the men's section are not big enough for Russian; the altos are not big enough for Russian. And I would bet you, every single singer will take the wrong attitude. It isn't about being "insulted" it is about being aided by better singers. Did I say that? Yep. Better singers.
Here is one thing that will be nasty for me though. If someone who is the same as me - a competent singer - but without a professional music degree - who cannot read as well as I do. . that would be a hard pill to swallow - especially if they had an attitude (yep, I have someone specifically in mind)
But I digress. . . back to expectations.
In my dream world, Chamber Chorus singers would practice at least an hour a day (whether it is with your piano or without). They would keep their mouths quiet during rehearsals and would always have a pencil. They would sing....out....and make BIG mistakes. Then, they would approach a concert with excitement and joy. And afterward, they wouldn't spend an hour or two running down everything that was awful about the concert. They would sit back and let it ride. Everyone wants a "do over". If you are doing your best - you are doing your best. They would ask for sectionals - or make their own. They would be the best choristers - I honestly do not think that they have an option not to be. We have people in the full chorus who sing with more passion than those in Chamber and, frankly, I'd welcome them.
Rachmaninoff is not going to be learned on the fly. Not like you want to know it. There is nothing more uncomfortable than going on the stage not knowing your music COLD. However, that really isn't the conductor's problem - that's ours. I will do my part to get it done. I'm sure everyone is also doing so. We call that - giving them the benefit of the doubt. The week before the concert, if things are ragged, then I'll have a few words to say about effort and work ethic.
Until then - let's all have a blast!
I have no criticism for my fellow singers. Everyone is doing a beautiful job of struggling with the Russian and taking the markings and doing their level best to get it done. We have some time. It will all work - it always does.
I do have one worry. I sing with the Chamber Chorus. What I am very worried about is that they will fall short of the mark. They MUST rehearse on their own time. They have to sit down and go through rhythms and words (so much more important than the notes) If you can get one thing under your belt that you do not have to worry about then you can concentrate on the notes. I fear, however, that their lackadaisical, keep it in the back seat between rehearsals approach is going to rear it's ugly head. It's my same rant: if you say you're elite - be elite. I know that our Mo. is bringing in "ringers" for this concert. I double-dog dare ANYONE to object. He's going to bring them in because the sound isn't right - the sopranos are not big enough for Russian; the men's section are not big enough for Russian; the altos are not big enough for Russian. And I would bet you, every single singer will take the wrong attitude. It isn't about being "insulted" it is about being aided by better singers. Did I say that? Yep. Better singers.
Here is one thing that will be nasty for me though. If someone who is the same as me - a competent singer - but without a professional music degree - who cannot read as well as I do. . that would be a hard pill to swallow - especially if they had an attitude (yep, I have someone specifically in mind)
But I digress. . . back to expectations.
In my dream world, Chamber Chorus singers would practice at least an hour a day (whether it is with your piano or without). They would keep their mouths quiet during rehearsals and would always have a pencil. They would sing....out....and make BIG mistakes. Then, they would approach a concert with excitement and joy. And afterward, they wouldn't spend an hour or two running down everything that was awful about the concert. They would sit back and let it ride. Everyone wants a "do over". If you are doing your best - you are doing your best. They would ask for sectionals - or make their own. They would be the best choristers - I honestly do not think that they have an option not to be. We have people in the full chorus who sing with more passion than those in Chamber and, frankly, I'd welcome them.
Rachmaninoff is not going to be learned on the fly. Not like you want to know it. There is nothing more uncomfortable than going on the stage not knowing your music COLD. However, that really isn't the conductor's problem - that's ours. I will do my part to get it done. I'm sure everyone is also doing so. We call that - giving them the benefit of the doubt. The week before the concert, if things are ragged, then I'll have a few words to say about effort and work ethic.
Until then - let's all have a blast!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Opportunity and fulfillment
So, this week is Brigadoon - small village, disappears in the mist, 100 year overnights. . . you might know the piece.
I am the onstage acting chorus in a staged concert version of Brigadoon. In addition, I was asked to coordinate props and make sure that is smoothly run. I also acted as assistant to our director - and that was a joyful experience. As a matter of fact, I get joy out of all of the aspects of putting up a production.
I've been performing, on stage, for approximately 32 years. I've learned many things about performing. I've also learned that there are always things you CAN learn from every production. This has been an educational experience for me in many ways - more on that later.
One thing that I've seen on the stage with me this year is a large group of individuals who have never hit the footlights before. Many of them have spent most of their singing life standing on risers and being wonderful choristers. Now, they are asked to don costumes, sing, and remember blocking - oh, and interact and look as if they are members of a small, Scottish town in the mid 1700's.
You know what - they are doing a GREAT job. I love their enthusiasm and willingness and dedication. I've decided in the last year or so that my criticism of people's talents and abilities is irrelevant. I've also learned that everyone who sings loves to do so. I've also learned that when I criticize someone - I stop feeling so good about myself. The folks who have not been at this as long as I have - and there are only a handful on the stage that have been - are just as excited and just as interested and invested in giving it their "all" as I am. Wow - to be surrounded by that kind of energy is so uplifting!
I've also learned to be kinder to myself. When I make a mistake - and I do every single time - I do not dwell on it. . . I don't repeat the same mistake twice - but I don't dwell on it. My heart breaks when I see self-critical perfectionists who are really doing a fantastic job - make faces at themselves, kick themselves and in general belittle themselves visibly. That is their demon to exorcise - but I do wish they wouldn't. Relax and grant yourself the grace you deserve.
The only fly in the ointment for me is that one person who wasn't cast is not very happy - and as this person is a member of a close friendship group - it bothers me a lot. But again, that is her demon to exorcise - not mine.
So, the ultimate learning experience for me is this - play your own game, forgive yourself, have fun!
Isn't that the point?
I am the onstage acting chorus in a staged concert version of Brigadoon. In addition, I was asked to coordinate props and make sure that is smoothly run. I also acted as assistant to our director - and that was a joyful experience. As a matter of fact, I get joy out of all of the aspects of putting up a production.
I've been performing, on stage, for approximately 32 years. I've learned many things about performing. I've also learned that there are always things you CAN learn from every production. This has been an educational experience for me in many ways - more on that later.
One thing that I've seen on the stage with me this year is a large group of individuals who have never hit the footlights before. Many of them have spent most of their singing life standing on risers and being wonderful choristers. Now, they are asked to don costumes, sing, and remember blocking - oh, and interact and look as if they are members of a small, Scottish town in the mid 1700's.
You know what - they are doing a GREAT job. I love their enthusiasm and willingness and dedication. I've decided in the last year or so that my criticism of people's talents and abilities is irrelevant. I've also learned that everyone who sings loves to do so. I've also learned that when I criticize someone - I stop feeling so good about myself. The folks who have not been at this as long as I have - and there are only a handful on the stage that have been - are just as excited and just as interested and invested in giving it their "all" as I am. Wow - to be surrounded by that kind of energy is so uplifting!
I've also learned to be kinder to myself. When I make a mistake - and I do every single time - I do not dwell on it. . . I don't repeat the same mistake twice - but I don't dwell on it. My heart breaks when I see self-critical perfectionists who are really doing a fantastic job - make faces at themselves, kick themselves and in general belittle themselves visibly. That is their demon to exorcise - but I do wish they wouldn't. Relax and grant yourself the grace you deserve.
The only fly in the ointment for me is that one person who wasn't cast is not very happy - and as this person is a member of a close friendship group - it bothers me a lot. But again, that is her demon to exorcise - not mine.
So, the ultimate learning experience for me is this - play your own game, forgive yourself, have fun!
Isn't that the point?
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Process
The process that I have observed for the last 25+ years of being a member of a particular singing organization has changed very little. You would think with the evolution of mankind/womankind that the anxieties and insecurities and superiority complexes of singers would have evolved upward - to a higher plain. I would like to say HA! to that.
You see, everyone knows better than the next person. It's amazing how singers who should know about sound and acoustics and the wonders of sound's movement through space can think their singular experience are others' experiences. The conductor, orchestra, audience - each have a better idea of what the "group" sounds like. Individuals get so stuck on criticizing their nearest neighbor that they lose focus.
Of course, people will tell you they aren't losing focus - they are just concerned about the sound. Honestly, that's what I pay the conductor to worry about. My job, as I see it, is to be the best I can be. If I'm good enough and have put enough time into study and learning my music I then become - shocking I know - a LEADER. Leader's have to be above the norm and with music that means putting in the study time, marking the score, noticing the changes in harmony - delving deeper than, "Oh, I know my part." Great, and necessary - but do you know the music. What about the composer? What about the way your part relates to another part? What about the sound you must produce - not your neighbor? What about when you make a mistake - and you do - looking at it carefully and not repeating it twice? What about a pencil. . .a simple pencil. .to write down your markings? What about listening when the conductor talks instead of talking?
Do I always follow all those rules? No. Do I TRY to follow all those rules? Yes. I've been active in choruses for 42 years. I still work very, very hard on my music. I read music really well - better than most - but I do not rest on that as a predictor of my musicality - I work at it darn it. And it kind of ticks me off a bit when people who don't are the most vocal critics in the room.
Ranting Rambler
You see, everyone knows better than the next person. It's amazing how singers who should know about sound and acoustics and the wonders of sound's movement through space can think their singular experience are others' experiences. The conductor, orchestra, audience - each have a better idea of what the "group" sounds like. Individuals get so stuck on criticizing their nearest neighbor that they lose focus.
Of course, people will tell you they aren't losing focus - they are just concerned about the sound. Honestly, that's what I pay the conductor to worry about. My job, as I see it, is to be the best I can be. If I'm good enough and have put enough time into study and learning my music I then become - shocking I know - a LEADER. Leader's have to be above the norm and with music that means putting in the study time, marking the score, noticing the changes in harmony - delving deeper than, "Oh, I know my part." Great, and necessary - but do you know the music. What about the composer? What about the way your part relates to another part? What about the sound you must produce - not your neighbor? What about when you make a mistake - and you do - looking at it carefully and not repeating it twice? What about a pencil. . .a simple pencil. .to write down your markings? What about listening when the conductor talks instead of talking?
Do I always follow all those rules? No. Do I TRY to follow all those rules? Yes. I've been active in choruses for 42 years. I still work very, very hard on my music. I read music really well - better than most - but I do not rest on that as a predictor of my musicality - I work at it darn it. And it kind of ticks me off a bit when people who don't are the most vocal critics in the room.
Ranting Rambler
Monday, February 02, 2009
Doing our Best
We're all doing our best.
We can all do better.
Doing better involves effort.
Effort requires more than lip service
Effort requires work
Nothing you put effort into will ever be a waste of time.
You cannot throw stones until you live in a house of brick yourself.
We can all do better.
Doing better involves effort.
Effort requires more than lip service
Effort requires work
Nothing you put effort into will ever be a waste of time.
You cannot throw stones until you live in a house of brick yourself.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Yes, It's Beginning to Sound a Lot Like...
You fill in the blank. It’s interesting how one particular event/feeling/moment is what really makes it feel like a certain time of year. For me, I feel like the Christmas “season” officially starts with the Farandole from Bizet’s L’Arlesienne Suite. It seems to be the traditional opener for our Celebration of Christmas concert every year.
Last night, I arrived at Maryland Hall a bit frazzled after a long day of work, driving 20 miles away to an office party in the rain, and then back down to Annapolis in rainy traffic…having a conversation with my mom on the way. I was a true “Bag Lady” as well when I walked in the door with 4 bags, an umbrella, and my water bottle. I managed to rehearse a bit, gather the proper colored undergarments that I had forgotten to bring along (black looks terrible under white!), change clothes, brighten my dead complexion with a little make-up, and get downstairs to line-up.
I was still breathing hard by the time we got on the stage, and was wondering if this was going to be another one of those Christmas Concerts that go on forever. But, as soon as I heard the beginning of the Farandole, my fuzzy brain realized, “It’s Christmas!”. Suddenly, I felt my mood brighten, and that elusive smile started to creep onto my face. As the evening went on, things that normally would annoy me just amused me. The night ended with a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells/O Come All Ye Faithful, complete with a dancing usher in the doorway. I was laughing so hard that I’m surprised I didn’t snort onstage!
Anyway, it’s always nice when the silly drama of rehearsal is over and everything is just fun, easy and pleasant…not that last night wasn’t without its own drama…but compared to Christmases past…it was a walk in the park.
I guess the next “Christmas Moment” is going to be the first chord of the Overture to Messiah…that’s always an “It’s Christmas!” moment for me as well.
Last night, I arrived at Maryland Hall a bit frazzled after a long day of work, driving 20 miles away to an office party in the rain, and then back down to Annapolis in rainy traffic…having a conversation with my mom on the way. I was a true “Bag Lady” as well when I walked in the door with 4 bags, an umbrella, and my water bottle. I managed to rehearse a bit, gather the proper colored undergarments that I had forgotten to bring along (black looks terrible under white!), change clothes, brighten my dead complexion with a little make-up, and get downstairs to line-up.
I was still breathing hard by the time we got on the stage, and was wondering if this was going to be another one of those Christmas Concerts that go on forever. But, as soon as I heard the beginning of the Farandole, my fuzzy brain realized, “It’s Christmas!”. Suddenly, I felt my mood brighten, and that elusive smile started to creep onto my face. As the evening went on, things that normally would annoy me just amused me. The night ended with a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells/O Come All Ye Faithful, complete with a dancing usher in the doorway. I was laughing so hard that I’m surprised I didn’t snort onstage!
Anyway, it’s always nice when the silly drama of rehearsal is over and everything is just fun, easy and pleasant…not that last night wasn’t without its own drama…but compared to Christmases past…it was a walk in the park.
I guess the next “Christmas Moment” is going to be the first chord of the Overture to Messiah…that’s always an “It’s Christmas!” moment for me as well.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
It's Christmas in Annapolis
Embodied in singing with my friends. I'm reading a book right now called This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession. That's a good name for this activity. I have had discussions, granted with other musicians, about how weird it really is to be doing this thing we call performing. This time of year its a 24/7 sort of committment.
What does it do for us? My friend from across the hallway at work came in saying, "I just haven't heard enough Christmas Music to be in the spirit!" I told her she should join a chorus - since November it's been Christmas for us. There is a pleasure I take in giving others the pleasure of listening to well-carols. You see them smile and relax for just a second.
It binds me closer to the reason for the celebration - the birth of Our Lord. YAY! Lord we greet thee. . .okay, I took some liberality with the wording.
A part of me feels useful, justified, needed. . .that co-dependent part that still rears its head and needs feeding.
In the simplest part of me, though, it's about just simply loving what I do so much that I couldn't imagine not doing it ever. . . this is your brain on music - a human obsession!
Merry Christmas
Fa la la la la
What does it do for us? My friend from across the hallway at work came in saying, "I just haven't heard enough Christmas Music to be in the spirit!" I told her she should join a chorus - since November it's been Christmas for us. There is a pleasure I take in giving others the pleasure of listening to well-carols. You see them smile and relax for just a second.
It binds me closer to the reason for the celebration - the birth of Our Lord. YAY! Lord we greet thee. . .okay, I took some liberality with the wording.
A part of me feels useful, justified, needed. . .that co-dependent part that still rears its head and needs feeding.
In the simplest part of me, though, it's about just simply loving what I do so much that I couldn't imagine not doing it ever. . . this is your brain on music - a human obsession!
Merry Christmas
Fa la la la la
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