Rachmaninoff Vespers

I used to say the Beethoven Missa Solemnis was the hardest thing I've ever sung. I would like to put it in position number two now and put the Rachmaninoff Vespers in position number one.

That being said - I love singing it for many reasons. First, it is incredibly beautiful. Having been to Russia I can just imagine singing this in an onion domed sanctuary. . .the air heavy with incense and colorful robed priests intoning behind a screen covered with icons.
Another reason I love singing it is because it stretched me as a singer. I have done many pieces in my lifetime. Two file cabinets full of choral music - many huge works - many vocally taxing works. Nothing like this.
I started looking at this piece as soon as I got the music. I looked at it, marked it, tabbed it, marked the meter changes, and listened to it over and over and over again - and it still kicked my butt . . .love that. After you've done as many pieces as I have it's great to sing something new that pushes you to new heights. It pushed my ability to dedicate myself to a piece of music to the exclusion of many other things. It defined for me that my desire to be a musician of high calibre is very important to me and that I will make the time to find that height. It created new ears for me - ears to hear and to listen. It gave me new found respect for an amazing conductor who took an all volunteer chorus through a piece that many professional choruses have crucified themselves upon.
It made me realize, on the other hand, that some folks just don't get it. Some folks are too casual. I realize it's all volunteer, but I rapidly see change coming. I think that the direction in which we are headed is to a more professional chorus. As a non- music major I have to be above board and charging with a work ethic that won't quit if I want to make the cut. I think I will. I do not think I'll sing everything from here on out. I acquitted myself well on this piece but man - it took a long time to learn it and I still don't have it learned. I do my best.
I cannot speak for other people. I know there was angst, anger, and anxiety. I didn't feel it. When my feet are held to the fire verbally or literally I usually just try to conquer the problem with a full-speed ahead. I hope that was appreciated - apparently it was. All I ever want to be is a good chorister. I hope I'm about halfway to achieving that.
It's a privilege to sing with this group - one I do not have title to without working my butt off to keep my spot. I intend to keep my spot.

Exhausted and elated