Personal resolutions don't do it for me usually. I'mnot much on 'self improvement' as I've discovered that while I do have goals for myself - they can begin whenever they need to begin - on any day of the year. Take January 11 - Why not? or, February 4.
In the New Year I hope for all things to be better. I want another chance at being my best self. This extends to my music. In the year 2010 I hope to continue to revel in the joy of music. To think less about what I'm giving to the pursuit of music and more of what I'm getting FROM it and be eternally grateful that God deemed me worthy of the talent to do what I do.
I want to grow as a musician - I want to stretch. Mostly, I want to relax and just enjoy the music. To be lost in the sound and the harmony and the text and the melody. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not be screwed up by over analyzation of how I produce. At the same time, I want to be aware of how I'm singing. One does not exclude the other - but I've found that a technically perfect performance is not nearly as satisfying as a soul wrenching, turn you inside out, leave nothing on the stage sort of performance. THAT is what I want to do. I do not think they are mutually exclusive but I've found that if you dwell on technicality - the fun disappears and the magic evaporates.
Be technical - but not technical first. Music is a soul thing. It isn't a head thing. One must find a way to connect these disparate parts of self and revel in the simple joy of creating. To dissect something is to understande its parts. How does that help you to know the joy of living? I can dissect a frog - but do I get what it means to be frog? That may sound silly, but bear with me. I can dissect a piece of music ( and I do) or I can dissect my performance - but does that help me to understand the soul and vitality of the piece - no. In order to find myself and my joy in a piece of music I have to have complete trust in the ride. Same reason I ride rollercoasters. I'm not afraid. I just want the joy - the exhiliration of the experience. Do I fasten my seat belt? Keep my head back? Duh - sure - it's only safe. I feel the same way about music. But if I never got on the ride - never connected with the simple thrill - how would fastening the seatbelt enrich that experience?
One thing I've learned about music - if you are in control in all aspects of your life, or striving for control - music is one place where you can simply immerse yourself in the production of something better than you. You have the tools - the notes, the words, the support of a musician or two other than yourself. Your head - that nagging little negative that you live with all day - needs to stay out of it. Make a mistake - and go on. . .one mistake or two or three doesn't ruin the whole piece. It's the whole. The gestalt. The soul that is important.
So, in the new year I expect to continue to be obnoxious about the sheer joy of making music. I get to do this. Daggone - I'm privileged to sing BACH! Think about that. Most people hum Barry Manilow tunes and think that's prettty cool. I have the entire repertoire of music at my disposal and I get to sing it - me, I get to produce it. . isn't that freaking amazing!?
Thank God for the privilege. May I continue to have it for my lifetime.
Ecstatically Yours
Friday, January 01, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It isn't Christmas until. . .
. . . the organ at St. Anne's Episcopal church in Annapolis, Maryland sounds forth loud and clear "O Come all Ye Faithful". . . on Christmas morning around 12 a.m. THEN, and only then, is it Christmas.
I am doubly blessed - possibly triply blessed - probably infinitely blessed. I have the privilige of being allowed to sing with several outstanding groups of people. Each group differs in many ways - none of them is less than the others.
First, as most of this blog is devoted, is Live Arts Maryland - the Annapolis Chorale. Several versions of that group: The Annapolis Chorale, The Chamber Chorus of the Annapolis Chorale, and one little pick up group - referred to either as "The Bag Ladies" or, as my favorite trumpet player suggested - "The Chamber Maids". I kind of like that last one :)
These groups are an amazing synergy of people who are devoted to music, orchestra players equally devoted, and led by a supremely devoted Maestro (no one really has a clue how devoted - but when you think he goes regularly from the Kennedy Center gig to us and still smiles about it - you know he wouldn't waste his time on something he didn't love). Each person brings the offering they have. It's the contrast between the widows mite and the Pharisees. . .she gave all she had. Some of us have more to bring than others - and the value of what we bring is valuable indeed. My Christmas season usually begins some time in November when I start rehearsing Messiah and various other Christmas items. . .and it's good - it's really good. I always try to step back and understand what is happening around me. Especially when we sing our last strains of Messiah into our carols. I look around me and I marvel that I get the privilege of participating. They do not need me - but I really need them.
The other group with which I sing is the St. Anne's choir. Weekly - through spring, summer, winter and fall - they show up. They sing music that typical church choirs that I have heard might not be able to tackle. They vary in age from people in their mid 30's to as old as in late 70's. Again - think about the widows mite - they each bring what they have and offer it to the Lord on a regular basis. None of them are perfect. Each of them show up faithfully to perform their service to the Lord. Not all of us can be acolytes or ushers or deacons - but the contribution we make to worship is valuable beyond count. People often show up at our church simply because of the music.
At Christmas they go beyond the call because they know they contribute to the worship experience of the congregation. They do a fantastic job. They are there because Jesus was born and it's their privilege to proclaim it in song. Never forget that the reason we all sing is because of the birth of our Lord. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a woman in her 70's glow with Christmas joy because our director thinks enough of people to not put them out to pasture to create the "perfect" product. I think it is perfect - a perfect blend of people who are somewhat more well heeled, professionals, and those whom we love simply because we love them. They sing because they must sing to welcome the birth of our Lord.
And Christmas is with those people, in a crowded choir loft, singing hymns, worshipping, and forgetting my own ego and the troubles of the world and rejoicing in the simple gift of music, friendship, and salvation.
And THAT is Christmas. . .
I am doubly blessed - possibly triply blessed - probably infinitely blessed. I have the privilige of being allowed to sing with several outstanding groups of people. Each group differs in many ways - none of them is less than the others.
First, as most of this blog is devoted, is Live Arts Maryland - the Annapolis Chorale. Several versions of that group: The Annapolis Chorale, The Chamber Chorus of the Annapolis Chorale, and one little pick up group - referred to either as "The Bag Ladies" or, as my favorite trumpet player suggested - "The Chamber Maids". I kind of like that last one :)
These groups are an amazing synergy of people who are devoted to music, orchestra players equally devoted, and led by a supremely devoted Maestro (no one really has a clue how devoted - but when you think he goes regularly from the Kennedy Center gig to us and still smiles about it - you know he wouldn't waste his time on something he didn't love). Each person brings the offering they have. It's the contrast between the widows mite and the Pharisees. . .she gave all she had. Some of us have more to bring than others - and the value of what we bring is valuable indeed. My Christmas season usually begins some time in November when I start rehearsing Messiah and various other Christmas items. . .and it's good - it's really good. I always try to step back and understand what is happening around me. Especially when we sing our last strains of Messiah into our carols. I look around me and I marvel that I get the privilege of participating. They do not need me - but I really need them.
The other group with which I sing is the St. Anne's choir. Weekly - through spring, summer, winter and fall - they show up. They sing music that typical church choirs that I have heard might not be able to tackle. They vary in age from people in their mid 30's to as old as in late 70's. Again - think about the widows mite - they each bring what they have and offer it to the Lord on a regular basis. None of them are perfect. Each of them show up faithfully to perform their service to the Lord. Not all of us can be acolytes or ushers or deacons - but the contribution we make to worship is valuable beyond count. People often show up at our church simply because of the music.
At Christmas they go beyond the call because they know they contribute to the worship experience of the congregation. They do a fantastic job. They are there because Jesus was born and it's their privilege to proclaim it in song. Never forget that the reason we all sing is because of the birth of our Lord. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a woman in her 70's glow with Christmas joy because our director thinks enough of people to not put them out to pasture to create the "perfect" product. I think it is perfect - a perfect blend of people who are somewhat more well heeled, professionals, and those whom we love simply because we love them. They sing because they must sing to welcome the birth of our Lord.
And Christmas is with those people, in a crowded choir loft, singing hymns, worshipping, and forgetting my own ego and the troubles of the world and rejoicing in the simple gift of music, friendship, and salvation.
And THAT is Christmas. . .
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Messiah Bullet Points
I like singing Handel's Messiah every year. Since it is a yearly event, I am able to mark the passing of time, the turning of years, and changes in my life and perspective. This will be my 6th year singing Messiah with the Chorale. So that I don't forget each year...here is a list of my Messiah experiences over the last 6 years:
- 2004 - "OMG Messiah" - OMG for many reasons...the first being that I had to learn the soprano part after having primarily sung the piece as an alto. Also, OMG because I had no idea a performance could be so moving...with a fabulous orchestra, good chorus, and in such a special space (St. Anne's Church). Oh, and OMG, my parents are here and I just moved away from everything that is comfortable in SC to everything that is uncomfortable in Annapolis!
- 2005 - "Adjusted Messiah" - I was beginning to make friends in the Chorale and get to know people. Little did I know that we were about to embark on the Florida version of the "Leap of Faith" Carmina Burana tour. This was also the year that I realized how comfortably Messiah lies in my color/tone vocally. It was comforting to sing something I already knew pretty well.
- 2006 - "Snarky Messiah" - I was in a horrible spot on the crowded altar this year. Horrible because I could barely move, and because I had a few..shall we say...under-pitch folks around me. It was literally almost impossible to sing. A few other friends were in rough spots too...and I think all we did was complain about it all weekend. That made it a tough experience...and I've vowed to just suck it up and put myself where I want to go ever since. Usually, if we are singing in a mixed configuration, I head for the tall back row in between two basses. Hey, it works for me...
- 2007 - "Messiah with the Toy Orchestra and 50 Soloists Across the Bay" - This year, my parents were visiting again...which meant the snow/ice arrived. You think they wouldn't bring that stuff up from SC, but somehow we always get it when they are here! On Saturday night, we had a performance on the Eastern Shore. It was rain/icy for most of the day, but we were still able to get across the bridge for the performance. The hall had ridiculously dry acoustics, though...so it sounded to us like we were all singing solos and the orchestra was playing toy instruments. Weird. The audience seemed to like it, though.
- 2008 - "Exhausted Messiah" - By the time we got to Messiah weekend last year, I was ready to crawl in a hole and hibernate for a month. There had been so many run-outs and concerts that I was physically spent. Add the welcome stress of a new romantic relationship...and I just wanted the weekend to be over! It passed by in a haze, but I do remember enjoying the music. Top row again meant I was in a happy singing spot.
- 2009 - "?" - So, what will the 2009 version of Messiah bring? Let's hope it's not "Blizzard Messiah" or "Messiah where Page finally loses it and hits someone", or "Messiah when Page and Lauren pass out since they ran 22 miles Saturday morning". I'm in a very nice singing spot this year...while not on the back row, it works. Considering the above possibilties, I'd be satisfied for this year to be "Uneventful Messiah". Even better would be "Musically Fulfilling Messiah". But hey, let's not push it!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Modern Jingling All the Way
I wonder if anyone noticed that our Celebration of Christmas Concert was noticeably different than it has been for the last umpteen years. I haven't even spoken to my conductor about this but it definitely had a different flavor. It was more up, happy, joyous - still with the touches of calm and reflection that are necessary but - overall - I really liked it.
I'm the chorus manager. The resume of a chorus manager goes something like this - listen, evaluate, wait, deliver calmly. I have watched this chorus over a few year -26 - in its various stages. I love these people with all of their failings. Typical night in the life of a chorus manager: meet early with upset chorus member whose feelings were hurt by crotchety old man, listen to the tears, offer reconciliation and try to adjust the seating; answer 10 questions about where the red scarves are; walk the stage to make sure there are no outstanding obstacles in the way; preset music for Jingle Bell work; glasses on/cell phone off; preview again the sits and stands; check with stage manger on times; tell warmer upper when to warm up; interface with stage manager about are we holding or not; line up chorus; issue last minute announcements in even way without putting anyone down - just the facts like, "Don't take off your scarves before you leave the stage." No need to comment on the professional or unprofessional aspects of it. . . rehearse; during the day field 12 phone calls from conductor; read 14 emails from happy/sad people; music off the stage for conductor - oh, and glasses.. .. mostly it's about people.
I spend most of my time interacting with uncomfortable people. People always have complaints. Each person has a reason for complaints. I need to work on being more even with people who should really know better - who should already understand we cannot cause people to be disconcerted before they sing. The last two days alone I've been personally insulted by grumpy old men, cried on, snipped at and otherwise been underappreciated - here's the catch - SO WHAT. I knew that when I took the job back and I'm in a place in my life where it's absolutely okay. I let people own their own problems. People are grumpy, upset, insecure because their lives, at some point, have been upset. I cannot fix that. I fix the moment - the immediate problem. I anticipate and request to be sent out emails about chairs. Next year to add to the list - remember your scarves. I've found a way to stay calm and focused on the music and not get bogged down in the triviality. The most important thing is to put a calm, happy, focused chorus on the stage. Now, go ahead and try to make 170 people happy :) See the problem. So, we shoot for a majority. . . and pray the others are smart enough and intelligent enough to realize it.
I am not an autonomous individual on concert night. There isn't a decision I make that isn't weighed in the light of the staff's philosophy. I have to think like they do. I think people think I have a Napoleon complex - the fact is - I've been given my marching orders and they are easy enough to process. I work hand in glove with the staff to create the evening. Compliment are coming in for our professionalism in dealing with the staff of venues where we perform.
The only fly in my ointment is that people make assumptions for me. . they assume I'm too busy to find. Other people might be sought out - but I am not. I mix with as many people as possible on concert nights to appear egalitarian and supportive of as many people as possible. This apparently means that I'm inaccessible to some. I hope that doesn't stay that way because it's translating into my outside the Chorale life. Sometimes it would be nice to just be asked and for people to understand that I'm just busy and need others to come to me on occasion - especially concert nights. But, again, as I've learned - I cannot make other people do anything. There is no way on earth because people usually do exactly what they want to do - and as much as they protest they really are doing what they intend to do.
That aside - I absolutely had a ball at the concert. The second night was more fun and much more of a spiritual experience for me than the first. I always thank God that I get this opportunity every year. Now,on to next concert and, oh yeah - I'm working props for Oklahoma.
I'm the chorus manager. The resume of a chorus manager goes something like this - listen, evaluate, wait, deliver calmly. I have watched this chorus over a few year -26 - in its various stages. I love these people with all of their failings. Typical night in the life of a chorus manager: meet early with upset chorus member whose feelings were hurt by crotchety old man, listen to the tears, offer reconciliation and try to adjust the seating; answer 10 questions about where the red scarves are; walk the stage to make sure there are no outstanding obstacles in the way; preset music for Jingle Bell work; glasses on/cell phone off; preview again the sits and stands; check with stage manger on times; tell warmer upper when to warm up; interface with stage manager about are we holding or not; line up chorus; issue last minute announcements in even way without putting anyone down - just the facts like, "Don't take off your scarves before you leave the stage." No need to comment on the professional or unprofessional aspects of it. . . rehearse; during the day field 12 phone calls from conductor; read 14 emails from happy/sad people; music off the stage for conductor - oh, and glasses.. .. mostly it's about people.
I spend most of my time interacting with uncomfortable people. People always have complaints. Each person has a reason for complaints. I need to work on being more even with people who should really know better - who should already understand we cannot cause people to be disconcerted before they sing. The last two days alone I've been personally insulted by grumpy old men, cried on, snipped at and otherwise been underappreciated - here's the catch - SO WHAT. I knew that when I took the job back and I'm in a place in my life where it's absolutely okay. I let people own their own problems. People are grumpy, upset, insecure because their lives, at some point, have been upset. I cannot fix that. I fix the moment - the immediate problem. I anticipate and request to be sent out emails about chairs. Next year to add to the list - remember your scarves. I've found a way to stay calm and focused on the music and not get bogged down in the triviality. The most important thing is to put a calm, happy, focused chorus on the stage. Now, go ahead and try to make 170 people happy :) See the problem. So, we shoot for a majority. . . and pray the others are smart enough and intelligent enough to realize it.
I am not an autonomous individual on concert night. There isn't a decision I make that isn't weighed in the light of the staff's philosophy. I have to think like they do. I think people think I have a Napoleon complex - the fact is - I've been given my marching orders and they are easy enough to process. I work hand in glove with the staff to create the evening. Compliment are coming in for our professionalism in dealing with the staff of venues where we perform.
The only fly in my ointment is that people make assumptions for me. . they assume I'm too busy to find. Other people might be sought out - but I am not. I mix with as many people as possible on concert nights to appear egalitarian and supportive of as many people as possible. This apparently means that I'm inaccessible to some. I hope that doesn't stay that way because it's translating into my outside the Chorale life. Sometimes it would be nice to just be asked and for people to understand that I'm just busy and need others to come to me on occasion - especially concert nights. But, again, as I've learned - I cannot make other people do anything. There is no way on earth because people usually do exactly what they want to do - and as much as they protest they really are doing what they intend to do.
That aside - I absolutely had a ball at the concert. The second night was more fun and much more of a spiritual experience for me than the first. I always thank God that I get this opportunity every year. Now,on to next concert and, oh yeah - I'm working props for Oklahoma.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Full Contact Caroling
Not exactly full contact - but definitely marthon like.
Last night was not a "hit it out of the park" kind of night for any group with whom I sang. First caroling gig - Parole Town Center - it had it's challenges. In my vow to not be critical of any one person. . I will only say that it was a group effort at mediocrity. I'm a member of that group.
Next gig - WBAL Children's Fund concert - better. Only thing that really annoyed me there, and that annoys me at any time - is to lose my "lostness" in the music by someone pointing up with a wise expression at everyone - indicating "you are going flat". As if the group I was with actually had to be told that - those people with whom I was singing - are just fine musicians - and know better. Not to mention the group leader was involved in the singing and didn't even budge to knowingly look at us and point up like. . . okay you guys - it's really important not to go flat - really? I didn't know that.
Back to my same argument which has been repeated over and over and over again in this blog: Get your head out of the music and put your heart into it. Suspend judgment of yourself and others and just do your best - you cannot control other people. Isn't that amazing - you cannot control other people. No matter how well you want them to sing you have absolutely no control over that. So, what does that leave you - well, that leaves you YOU. YOU are the only one you can be responsible for in the long run.
Many people annoy you. Fact. Singing next to everyone isn't the best experience. Fact. Here's another fact - why should I feel so privileged that I expect to always have situations around me perfect? Ain't gonna happen. Perfection has only been achieved by one Being of which I am aware. If someone knows someone else - let me know.
I think you have to examine your motivations. Are you singing to sing with a perfect group? Find another group. Are you singing to sing with a group who is accurate all the time? Find another group. Are you singing to make perfect music? Find another group. I really hurt for people who were raised by the critical and then internalized that critical nature in themselves. Worse, they are also critical of themselves. What is the result - they back off. They never jump over the edge - they always carefully check to see if it's safe, if it's okay, if they can get it back if they make mistakes. Jump people!
I once had someone say that when you sing, you think with your heart and feel with your brain. . . many of us need to get that process in place. Love what you do. . . put everything into it. . invest your heart, soul, and mind into it and realize that there is absolutely NOTHING that you can do about mistakes or flatness around you.
It just frustrates me and, guess what? It frustrates me more than someone singing flat. I really want everyone to have a WONDERFUL time just singing. Do I want you to bring your A game? Darn straight I do. Do I want you to care about it as much as I do? Yep. Do I have any control over that - NOPE. So, what does that leave me - the music and me. And that's what it comes down to - the music and me.
Last night was not a "hit it out of the park" kind of night for any group with whom I sang. First caroling gig - Parole Town Center - it had it's challenges. In my vow to not be critical of any one person. . I will only say that it was a group effort at mediocrity. I'm a member of that group.
Next gig - WBAL Children's Fund concert - better. Only thing that really annoyed me there, and that annoys me at any time - is to lose my "lostness" in the music by someone pointing up with a wise expression at everyone - indicating "you are going flat". As if the group I was with actually had to be told that - those people with whom I was singing - are just fine musicians - and know better. Not to mention the group leader was involved in the singing and didn't even budge to knowingly look at us and point up like. . . okay you guys - it's really important not to go flat - really? I didn't know that.
Back to my same argument which has been repeated over and over and over again in this blog: Get your head out of the music and put your heart into it. Suspend judgment of yourself and others and just do your best - you cannot control other people. Isn't that amazing - you cannot control other people. No matter how well you want them to sing you have absolutely no control over that. So, what does that leave you - well, that leaves you YOU. YOU are the only one you can be responsible for in the long run.
Many people annoy you. Fact. Singing next to everyone isn't the best experience. Fact. Here's another fact - why should I feel so privileged that I expect to always have situations around me perfect? Ain't gonna happen. Perfection has only been achieved by one Being of which I am aware. If someone knows someone else - let me know.
I think you have to examine your motivations. Are you singing to sing with a perfect group? Find another group. Are you singing to sing with a group who is accurate all the time? Find another group. Are you singing to make perfect music? Find another group. I really hurt for people who were raised by the critical and then internalized that critical nature in themselves. Worse, they are also critical of themselves. What is the result - they back off. They never jump over the edge - they always carefully check to see if it's safe, if it's okay, if they can get it back if they make mistakes. Jump people!
I once had someone say that when you sing, you think with your heart and feel with your brain. . . many of us need to get that process in place. Love what you do. . . put everything into it. . invest your heart, soul, and mind into it and realize that there is absolutely NOTHING that you can do about mistakes or flatness around you.
It just frustrates me and, guess what? It frustrates me more than someone singing flat. I really want everyone to have a WONDERFUL time just singing. Do I want you to bring your A game? Darn straight I do. Do I want you to care about it as much as I do? Yep. Do I have any control over that - NOPE. So, what does that leave me - the music and me. And that's what it comes down to - the music and me.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Indulging in Musical Snobbery. . .
I am disquieted in spirit.
Thinking back on the weekend I can point to several basic points in which this disquiet could have entered and, most probably, did.
I do not generally speak ill of a fellow performer at this point in my life. I have in the past but I decided conciously to put that behind me. About the only person who I will say what I really think to about anyone in particular is my BF. She gets that it isn't meant to hurt anyone and its just my personal feelings. Other people, no matter who they are might be offended by this expression and its best to keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself on most occasions.
This weekend I had a very special opportunity. My music director is also a cover conductor for the NSO in Washington DC. He regularly works with Marvin Hamilisch. So, my Bf and I went to hear Shirley Jones and Patrick Cassidy in a partially staged version of "The Music Man". I really wanted to be impressed. . . I really wasn't. Now, the same afore alluded to Music Director is also the director of a 175 voice Chorale in which I sing. We also do staged versions of musicals and, I must say, we do it MUCH better. Mr. Hamlisch, while a nice man - had a brief exchange with him backstage, and Mr. Cassidy - also equally as kind - are not what I expected them to be. Marvin Hamlisch should take lessons from my friend the music director - not on how to play the piano - but on how to be exciting! And Mr. Cassidy - should just take lessons. His mother, Shirley Jones, does pretty well in the older roles but should definitely not do solo repertoire anymore. So, I guess I'm hypercritical of things I pay good money to see.
Fast foward the evening to the end. Backstage - meet Marvin Hamlisch, meet Patrick Cassidy - good. Off for a drink with music director friend. We're enjoying perfectly pleasant conversation when a member of the City Chorus who provided the chorus for the perfomance sits down next to our music director friend and the talk comes around to what we do in Annapolis. "You can find 175 people who can sing there?" "What do you do with all those fisherman"" Ah hah, musical snobbery turned onto my chorus! Fisherman. .. bah. What does she think he's doing? Making music on sailboats.
Now it's Sunday Morning. We practice (me after getting in really, really late). We're up and running. Music Director, organist,choir. The point in the service where we are to sing arises - up pops someone who doesn't believe that she needs to practice with the choir in order to sing. Appalling. Guess what? I don't have to either - that's not the point.
Music making. Isn't it about "being there". Not for the wonderfulness of who you are. Lord knows the world doesn't need any one of us as much as we need all of us. I'm not a gift to the music world. The music world is a gift to me. I receive from the world of music far more than I can quantify in numbers of pieces of music I've sung, being perfectly on pitch, or being just capable. I'm all of the above and can sing with any chorus in the country. Yep, I'm that good. What do I choose to do? I choose to invest my time in a group of genuine people who care. I've chosen to invest my time in making excitement happen for me and the people who hear us. I choose to think that while I'm a musical snob about charging me lots of money to hear inferior singing - that music is a higher calling than who sings what or who sings better.
Thinking back on the weekend I can point to several basic points in which this disquiet could have entered and, most probably, did.
I do not generally speak ill of a fellow performer at this point in my life. I have in the past but I decided conciously to put that behind me. About the only person who I will say what I really think to about anyone in particular is my BF. She gets that it isn't meant to hurt anyone and its just my personal feelings. Other people, no matter who they are might be offended by this expression and its best to keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself on most occasions.
This weekend I had a very special opportunity. My music director is also a cover conductor for the NSO in Washington DC. He regularly works with Marvin Hamilisch. So, my Bf and I went to hear Shirley Jones and Patrick Cassidy in a partially staged version of "The Music Man". I really wanted to be impressed. . . I really wasn't. Now, the same afore alluded to Music Director is also the director of a 175 voice Chorale in which I sing. We also do staged versions of musicals and, I must say, we do it MUCH better. Mr. Hamlisch, while a nice man - had a brief exchange with him backstage, and Mr. Cassidy - also equally as kind - are not what I expected them to be. Marvin Hamlisch should take lessons from my friend the music director - not on how to play the piano - but on how to be exciting! And Mr. Cassidy - should just take lessons. His mother, Shirley Jones, does pretty well in the older roles but should definitely not do solo repertoire anymore. So, I guess I'm hypercritical of things I pay good money to see.
Fast foward the evening to the end. Backstage - meet Marvin Hamlisch, meet Patrick Cassidy - good. Off for a drink with music director friend. We're enjoying perfectly pleasant conversation when a member of the City Chorus who provided the chorus for the perfomance sits down next to our music director friend and the talk comes around to what we do in Annapolis. "You can find 175 people who can sing there?" "What do you do with all those fisherman"" Ah hah, musical snobbery turned onto my chorus! Fisherman. .. bah. What does she think he's doing? Making music on sailboats.
Now it's Sunday Morning. We practice (me after getting in really, really late). We're up and running. Music Director, organist,choir. The point in the service where we are to sing arises - up pops someone who doesn't believe that she needs to practice with the choir in order to sing. Appalling. Guess what? I don't have to either - that's not the point.
Music making. Isn't it about "being there". Not for the wonderfulness of who you are. Lord knows the world doesn't need any one of us as much as we need all of us. I'm not a gift to the music world. The music world is a gift to me. I receive from the world of music far more than I can quantify in numbers of pieces of music I've sung, being perfectly on pitch, or being just capable. I'm all of the above and can sing with any chorus in the country. Yep, I'm that good. What do I choose to do? I choose to invest my time in a group of genuine people who care. I've chosen to invest my time in making excitement happen for me and the people who hear us. I choose to think that while I'm a musical snob about charging me lots of money to hear inferior singing - that music is a higher calling than who sings what or who sings better.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Gloria in Excelsis Deo and Plato
John Rutter and the Gloria are meant for one another. I was talking with a fellow blogger and a fantastic musician. It was his contention that while Rutter may lack the depth and breadth of Brahms, Mozart, Verdi - maybe all you need for a fantastic Gloria is pure joy. I experienced that joy while singing the Rutter this weekend. Once again, not everyone gets that rush. Not everyone gets the opportunity to sing the most amazing stuff!
On the flip side, very mundane and earthy - it was a tough night for a lot of folk. Because of the need to set up for a reception in the area where we line - up, the "butt to chair" ration was about 4:1. Some people were left standing - literally. That's unfortunate and, believe me, with my plantar fasciitis I felt their pain. . .again, literally. Sigh. Oh, that everyone might suffer in silence or at least grab a friend and start a complaining team but just keep it between the two of you. Unfortunately that was not the case.
I am in a position where I "know stuff". I am, unbeknownst to most of the Chorale, the chorus manager. I do stuff behind the scenes for the chorus that they have no idea is being done. However, on concert night I become the chorus point person. Line up, organization, information - that's me. Hopefully I do it with style and grace. Last night reminded me why I've learned a lot of life lessons in the last three years.
I was innocently talking with a tenor friend when a bass approached me. I openly looked at him as he approached and the first words out of his mouth were angry, "So, I'm supposed to stand up all night". I tried to explain, calmly and rationally, how this had all transpired (remember, I'm standing and DID stand the whole time before going on stage). He would not hear the explanation and accept the unfortunateness of the situation. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't really care if it was a major donor event he'd take his dues and leave the Chorale. One of our Executive Board members was informed of this discussion and asked me to get the attention of the Chorale, which I did. I then stepped aside. Again, most unfortunately, the manner in which information about the lack of chairs was communicated with the chorus was less than desirable. After that, a maelstrom of bad feeling poured forth. Between our Marketing Director and myself, we fielded a dozen or so injuries to soul. Again, terribly bad timing, a Chorale member decided they would personally take to task a remarkably kind woman who works for Maryland Hall - in effect circumventing the Chorale staff to vent their spleen on a Maryland Hall worker. Once again, the Marketing director goes into action to pour oil on that troubled water.
At that time, I determined, in consultation with the MD that I should say something to the chorus. My best friend, who warms up the chorus and assists the Conductor, did a few warmups and then I took the bench - the piano bench - and, praying fervently to God for the right words, attempted to put into perspective how the evening had started. "Be Kind to everyon, for you do not know the struggles of another person". I think that, with the Lords help, I managed to sooth some troubled spirits.
When anyone thinks that what I do with the Chorale gleans special privilege or honor. When anyone thinks that I do it as a form of self-aggrandizement. I have to say - that before I took this job back this time, I thought long and hard about where I was as a person. I've learned an incredible amount of things in the last three years: Admit when you are wrong, Just because you survived it doesn't mean it was ever okay, and a soft answer always turns away wrath. More often than not, it is not the good stuff the staff gets to hear. We are there to solve problems - unfortunately some of the problems we have to solve are the problems that some of our own staff start. . . .
I took this job on because of the chorus and how much I care about them. Some do not believe that. Standing in my shoes last night -- processing everyone else's ills - - -and then being able to lay it aside and sing glorious music-- that takes practice. It's the same way I got to Carnegie Hall! Peace be with you ALL
On the flip side, very mundane and earthy - it was a tough night for a lot of folk. Because of the need to set up for a reception in the area where we line - up, the "butt to chair" ration was about 4:1. Some people were left standing - literally. That's unfortunate and, believe me, with my plantar fasciitis I felt their pain. . .again, literally. Sigh. Oh, that everyone might suffer in silence or at least grab a friend and start a complaining team but just keep it between the two of you. Unfortunately that was not the case.
I am in a position where I "know stuff". I am, unbeknownst to most of the Chorale, the chorus manager. I do stuff behind the scenes for the chorus that they have no idea is being done. However, on concert night I become the chorus point person. Line up, organization, information - that's me. Hopefully I do it with style and grace. Last night reminded me why I've learned a lot of life lessons in the last three years.
I was innocently talking with a tenor friend when a bass approached me. I openly looked at him as he approached and the first words out of his mouth were angry, "So, I'm supposed to stand up all night". I tried to explain, calmly and rationally, how this had all transpired (remember, I'm standing and DID stand the whole time before going on stage). He would not hear the explanation and accept the unfortunateness of the situation. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't really care if it was a major donor event he'd take his dues and leave the Chorale. One of our Executive Board members was informed of this discussion and asked me to get the attention of the Chorale, which I did. I then stepped aside. Again, most unfortunately, the manner in which information about the lack of chairs was communicated with the chorus was less than desirable. After that, a maelstrom of bad feeling poured forth. Between our Marketing Director and myself, we fielded a dozen or so injuries to soul. Again, terribly bad timing, a Chorale member decided they would personally take to task a remarkably kind woman who works for Maryland Hall - in effect circumventing the Chorale staff to vent their spleen on a Maryland Hall worker. Once again, the Marketing director goes into action to pour oil on that troubled water.
At that time, I determined, in consultation with the MD that I should say something to the chorus. My best friend, who warms up the chorus and assists the Conductor, did a few warmups and then I took the bench - the piano bench - and, praying fervently to God for the right words, attempted to put into perspective how the evening had started. "Be Kind to everyon, for you do not know the struggles of another person". I think that, with the Lords help, I managed to sooth some troubled spirits.
When anyone thinks that what I do with the Chorale gleans special privilege or honor. When anyone thinks that I do it as a form of self-aggrandizement. I have to say - that before I took this job back this time, I thought long and hard about where I was as a person. I've learned an incredible amount of things in the last three years: Admit when you are wrong, Just because you survived it doesn't mean it was ever okay, and a soft answer always turns away wrath. More often than not, it is not the good stuff the staff gets to hear. We are there to solve problems - unfortunately some of the problems we have to solve are the problems that some of our own staff start. . . .
I took this job on because of the chorus and how much I care about them. Some do not believe that. Standing in my shoes last night -- processing everyone else's ills - - -and then being able to lay it aside and sing glorious music-- that takes practice. It's the same way I got to Carnegie Hall! Peace be with you ALL
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