. . .at least 3 times a week.
How amazing is that? How remarkable to think that I get to call this man who conducts this prestigious orchestra my friend.
How incredibly arrogant would it be to think I know better than him about anything musical. How incrediblyarrogant would it be to think his "advice" to me is to be nodded at patronizingly and my own counsel kept in the area of music.
How incredibly arrogant it is to argue with him in rehearsal about anything musical.
And yet - people do it all the time.
No one is perfect, least of all me or, for that matter, my conductor. However, when one sits in front of a master of their art- being teaching, lawyer-ing, ministering, or conducting one should assume that your grasp of the situation is probably less complete than the master in front of you. Back to the day of the "masterpiece". You are an apprentice, or at best a journeyman until you have produced your "masterpiece" in your field of endeavor. I am justifiably proud of my musical achievements - but they hold not a candle to my achievements in education. I am not now, nor will I ever, achieve "master" status in my chosen field of avocation.
What am I saying? That when we criticize or argue with a master in the field we had better be absolutely convinced of our position before we sally forth to do battle. I am often amazed at the lack of respect the chorister gives the conductor. Why is it that musicians who have never been to music school insist on arguing with someone who is successful - beyond successful in their field? Why is it that they insist on arguing with someone who has kept an arts group afloat for over 25 years? I don't get it.
What would I like to have happen? That everyone that I know would realize that they don't know everything. That they can learn if they keep their mouths shut and their opinions quiet until they have all the facts necessary to sally forth. THEN, if you are absolutely sure you know whereof you stand, then and only then should you respectfully question.
Sometimes we forget that our "friend" is also our leader/teacher/master in this area. Taht we absolutely do NOT know more - and that's okay. That our opinion, while still your opinion, is not applicable to the situation. And that if you are absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are right about how you sing, how the person next to you sings, how you feel about what is being done - then sally forth. Go, do battle. Be prepared, even then, to understand that you might lose - not because you are wrong - but because you are an apprentice.
Learn from those who know. Learn from experience. Learn from mistakes. But don't let your sense of pride keep you from learning. Sometimes you might be surprised that your carefully held convictions about how something "is" are wrong. I know I've been surprised many, many times in the last 4 years. I intend to go on being surprised and therefore increase my knowledge base by learning how to build my own masterpiece.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his words. . by one who gets it
Last night I attended a Washington Symphonic Brass production at Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts in Annapolis. The 36 of us who were there were moved by a piece that was performed by the brass with the words of Dr. King spoken by a former professor of my conductor friend E. This professor was a wonderful man - African American. In his youth, his amazing voice led him to pursue singing as a career. Unfortunately, he is of an age where the black man could not get hired - no matter how amazing he was. So, he went to Europe. Funnily or poignantly, he convinced European Opera houses that if a white man could sing in black face a black man could sing in white face. He went on to have a wonderful career in Europe. Meanwhile, the climate started to change in the U.S. and he came back to be a professor at both Howard and Peabody Conservatory.
He did not sing last night - he spoke. With power and resonance. He spoke the words of Dr. King. He spoke about equality and nobility of spirit and triumphing over odds that are staggering. It was so beautiful for its relevance to this gentleman's life.
I wish everyone could have heard it.
We all need to see one another as brothers. If music and words - the combination of which is more powerful than one can know - can convey that message then all should hear it.
He did not sing last night - he spoke. With power and resonance. He spoke the words of Dr. King. He spoke about equality and nobility of spirit and triumphing over odds that are staggering. It was so beautiful for its relevance to this gentleman's life.
I wish everyone could have heard it.
We all need to see one another as brothers. If music and words - the combination of which is more powerful than one can know - can convey that message then all should hear it.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
26 years and Counting
Some marriages don't last that long. . . .
that's how long my tenure has been with the Annapolis Chorale/Live Arts Maryland. Hopefully, I can continue that tenure as long as I am physically capable of singing well. Shudder. . . .
At the Gala last night I looked around the room and realized that each person I saw that I recognized was a gift that came with "purchase". If I weren't a member of this organization my life might not have the depth, color, and variety it has. I have no problem with saying that I owe the best part of my life to my involvement with this organization. There is no pride standing in my way there. It just IS.
I had a pretty good time. The people that I was sitting with all left before the show was over, the other couples at the table were Chorale members. It was fine. Some year I'd like to actually sit not in the back corner. I don't know who does the tables and - heaven help them - it's a task I wouldn't want. I guess sometimes I could be allowed a little "say" every now and then. I would like a front table because - well. . . maybe I've earned it once in a while? Maybe I've gotten a few points for job well done? My problem is I don't have any money and, as I was told last night, those tables are usually for people with money. Sigh. Oh well :) It is what it is.
The performers were fabulous - really fabulous. I think they all sang better than they sang last year. I liked the music better. It fit the audience better. It was shorter. Liked the auction better. It was a remarkable evening. I'm so blessed to know and be involved with those folks.
Now, onto thinking about St. Matthew, Haydn, and O. . .Klahoma. I need a 12 gauge shotgun - any takers?
that's how long my tenure has been with the Annapolis Chorale/Live Arts Maryland. Hopefully, I can continue that tenure as long as I am physically capable of singing well. Shudder. . . .
At the Gala last night I looked around the room and realized that each person I saw that I recognized was a gift that came with "purchase". If I weren't a member of this organization my life might not have the depth, color, and variety it has. I have no problem with saying that I owe the best part of my life to my involvement with this organization. There is no pride standing in my way there. It just IS.
I had a pretty good time. The people that I was sitting with all left before the show was over, the other couples at the table were Chorale members. It was fine. Some year I'd like to actually sit not in the back corner. I don't know who does the tables and - heaven help them - it's a task I wouldn't want. I guess sometimes I could be allowed a little "say" every now and then. I would like a front table because - well. . . maybe I've earned it once in a while? Maybe I've gotten a few points for job well done? My problem is I don't have any money and, as I was told last night, those tables are usually for people with money. Sigh. Oh well :) It is what it is.
The performers were fabulous - really fabulous. I think they all sang better than they sang last year. I liked the music better. It fit the audience better. It was shorter. Liked the auction better. It was a remarkable evening. I'm so blessed to know and be involved with those folks.
Now, onto thinking about St. Matthew, Haydn, and O. . .Klahoma. I need a 12 gauge shotgun - any takers?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Fascinating Music of the Night Rhythm
Music has such variety and delight! Last night as we were working on putting together the Gala it was simply wonderful. Picture a room full of 10 - 12 quality singers. Picture a very talented pianist. Picture wine and food flowing along with the tremendous good will. That was great. Then I was "forced" to listen to soloist after soloist rehearse. . .darn that :)
You know, I know lots of folks who are like me - choristers who simply sing the repertoire shoved in front of them - sometimes don't feel important because they aren't soloists. I think that sometimes this is part of some lack of urgency to learn music. Then we choristers have heard a LOT of soloists. We have a fairly decent handle on what we like and don't like. We do feel quite free to criticize what we don't like. Speaking for myself, I've never been to music school which, to my way of thinking, is what qualifies you to be a "real" musician. Hmmm. . .I'm not sure where the "years served" starts to give you an equivilency in a music degree program :) However, we NON real musicians sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong.
Last night was just pure fun. These unapproachable soloists on the stage in the midst of the spotlight are real people and are usually REALLY nice. We talked football and movies and religion and politics - they really aren't all "bubble boys/girls". I would say that most musicians - with a few exceptions - are among the smartest people I know. I don't know if this is because the pool of people from which I draw is largely that of musicians. I do know that they are stimulating conversationalists and compassionate individuals.
So the Gala. . is going to be fun. I hope the audience enjoys it. I gave up on the "going home" concept and took a room with my BF for the evening. We just have to get up early and go to church down the street anyway.
Let's all have fun!
You know, I know lots of folks who are like me - choristers who simply sing the repertoire shoved in front of them - sometimes don't feel important because they aren't soloists. I think that sometimes this is part of some lack of urgency to learn music. Then we choristers have heard a LOT of soloists. We have a fairly decent handle on what we like and don't like. We do feel quite free to criticize what we don't like. Speaking for myself, I've never been to music school which, to my way of thinking, is what qualifies you to be a "real" musician. Hmmm. . .I'm not sure where the "years served" starts to give you an equivilency in a music degree program :) However, we NON real musicians sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong.
Last night was just pure fun. These unapproachable soloists on the stage in the midst of the spotlight are real people and are usually REALLY nice. We talked football and movies and religion and politics - they really aren't all "bubble boys/girls". I would say that most musicians - with a few exceptions - are among the smartest people I know. I don't know if this is because the pool of people from which I draw is largely that of musicians. I do know that they are stimulating conversationalists and compassionate individuals.
So the Gala. . is going to be fun. I hope the audience enjoys it. I gave up on the "going home" concept and took a room with my BF for the evening. We just have to get up early and go to church down the street anyway.
Let's all have fun!
Friday, January 01, 2010
"Noting" the New Year
Personal resolutions don't do it for me usually. I'mnot much on 'self improvement' as I've discovered that while I do have goals for myself - they can begin whenever they need to begin - on any day of the year. Take January 11 - Why not? or, February 4.
In the New Year I hope for all things to be better. I want another chance at being my best self. This extends to my music. In the year 2010 I hope to continue to revel in the joy of music. To think less about what I'm giving to the pursuit of music and more of what I'm getting FROM it and be eternally grateful that God deemed me worthy of the talent to do what I do.
I want to grow as a musician - I want to stretch. Mostly, I want to relax and just enjoy the music. To be lost in the sound and the harmony and the text and the melody. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not be screwed up by over analyzation of how I produce. At the same time, I want to be aware of how I'm singing. One does not exclude the other - but I've found that a technically perfect performance is not nearly as satisfying as a soul wrenching, turn you inside out, leave nothing on the stage sort of performance. THAT is what I want to do. I do not think they are mutually exclusive but I've found that if you dwell on technicality - the fun disappears and the magic evaporates.
Be technical - but not technical first. Music is a soul thing. It isn't a head thing. One must find a way to connect these disparate parts of self and revel in the simple joy of creating. To dissect something is to understande its parts. How does that help you to know the joy of living? I can dissect a frog - but do I get what it means to be frog? That may sound silly, but bear with me. I can dissect a piece of music ( and I do) or I can dissect my performance - but does that help me to understand the soul and vitality of the piece - no. In order to find myself and my joy in a piece of music I have to have complete trust in the ride. Same reason I ride rollercoasters. I'm not afraid. I just want the joy - the exhiliration of the experience. Do I fasten my seat belt? Keep my head back? Duh - sure - it's only safe. I feel the same way about music. But if I never got on the ride - never connected with the simple thrill - how would fastening the seatbelt enrich that experience?
One thing I've learned about music - if you are in control in all aspects of your life, or striving for control - music is one place where you can simply immerse yourself in the production of something better than you. You have the tools - the notes, the words, the support of a musician or two other than yourself. Your head - that nagging little negative that you live with all day - needs to stay out of it. Make a mistake - and go on. . .one mistake or two or three doesn't ruin the whole piece. It's the whole. The gestalt. The soul that is important.
So, in the new year I expect to continue to be obnoxious about the sheer joy of making music. I get to do this. Daggone - I'm privileged to sing BACH! Think about that. Most people hum Barry Manilow tunes and think that's prettty cool. I have the entire repertoire of music at my disposal and I get to sing it - me, I get to produce it. . isn't that freaking amazing!?
Thank God for the privilege. May I continue to have it for my lifetime.
Ecstatically Yours
In the New Year I hope for all things to be better. I want another chance at being my best self. This extends to my music. In the year 2010 I hope to continue to revel in the joy of music. To think less about what I'm giving to the pursuit of music and more of what I'm getting FROM it and be eternally grateful that God deemed me worthy of the talent to do what I do.
I want to grow as a musician - I want to stretch. Mostly, I want to relax and just enjoy the music. To be lost in the sound and the harmony and the text and the melody. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not be screwed up by over analyzation of how I produce. At the same time, I want to be aware of how I'm singing. One does not exclude the other - but I've found that a technically perfect performance is not nearly as satisfying as a soul wrenching, turn you inside out, leave nothing on the stage sort of performance. THAT is what I want to do. I do not think they are mutually exclusive but I've found that if you dwell on technicality - the fun disappears and the magic evaporates.
Be technical - but not technical first. Music is a soul thing. It isn't a head thing. One must find a way to connect these disparate parts of self and revel in the simple joy of creating. To dissect something is to understande its parts. How does that help you to know the joy of living? I can dissect a frog - but do I get what it means to be frog? That may sound silly, but bear with me. I can dissect a piece of music ( and I do) or I can dissect my performance - but does that help me to understand the soul and vitality of the piece - no. In order to find myself and my joy in a piece of music I have to have complete trust in the ride. Same reason I ride rollercoasters. I'm not afraid. I just want the joy - the exhiliration of the experience. Do I fasten my seat belt? Keep my head back? Duh - sure - it's only safe. I feel the same way about music. But if I never got on the ride - never connected with the simple thrill - how would fastening the seatbelt enrich that experience?
One thing I've learned about music - if you are in control in all aspects of your life, or striving for control - music is one place where you can simply immerse yourself in the production of something better than you. You have the tools - the notes, the words, the support of a musician or two other than yourself. Your head - that nagging little negative that you live with all day - needs to stay out of it. Make a mistake - and go on. . .one mistake or two or three doesn't ruin the whole piece. It's the whole. The gestalt. The soul that is important.
So, in the new year I expect to continue to be obnoxious about the sheer joy of making music. I get to do this. Daggone - I'm privileged to sing BACH! Think about that. Most people hum Barry Manilow tunes and think that's prettty cool. I have the entire repertoire of music at my disposal and I get to sing it - me, I get to produce it. . isn't that freaking amazing!?
Thank God for the privilege. May I continue to have it for my lifetime.
Ecstatically Yours
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It isn't Christmas until. . .
. . . the organ at St. Anne's Episcopal church in Annapolis, Maryland sounds forth loud and clear "O Come all Ye Faithful". . . on Christmas morning around 12 a.m. THEN, and only then, is it Christmas.
I am doubly blessed - possibly triply blessed - probably infinitely blessed. I have the privilige of being allowed to sing with several outstanding groups of people. Each group differs in many ways - none of them is less than the others.
First, as most of this blog is devoted, is Live Arts Maryland - the Annapolis Chorale. Several versions of that group: The Annapolis Chorale, The Chamber Chorus of the Annapolis Chorale, and one little pick up group - referred to either as "The Bag Ladies" or, as my favorite trumpet player suggested - "The Chamber Maids". I kind of like that last one :)
These groups are an amazing synergy of people who are devoted to music, orchestra players equally devoted, and led by a supremely devoted Maestro (no one really has a clue how devoted - but when you think he goes regularly from the Kennedy Center gig to us and still smiles about it - you know he wouldn't waste his time on something he didn't love). Each person brings the offering they have. It's the contrast between the widows mite and the Pharisees. . .she gave all she had. Some of us have more to bring than others - and the value of what we bring is valuable indeed. My Christmas season usually begins some time in November when I start rehearsing Messiah and various other Christmas items. . .and it's good - it's really good. I always try to step back and understand what is happening around me. Especially when we sing our last strains of Messiah into our carols. I look around me and I marvel that I get the privilege of participating. They do not need me - but I really need them.
The other group with which I sing is the St. Anne's choir. Weekly - through spring, summer, winter and fall - they show up. They sing music that typical church choirs that I have heard might not be able to tackle. They vary in age from people in their mid 30's to as old as in late 70's. Again - think about the widows mite - they each bring what they have and offer it to the Lord on a regular basis. None of them are perfect. Each of them show up faithfully to perform their service to the Lord. Not all of us can be acolytes or ushers or deacons - but the contribution we make to worship is valuable beyond count. People often show up at our church simply because of the music.
At Christmas they go beyond the call because they know they contribute to the worship experience of the congregation. They do a fantastic job. They are there because Jesus was born and it's their privilege to proclaim it in song. Never forget that the reason we all sing is because of the birth of our Lord. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a woman in her 70's glow with Christmas joy because our director thinks enough of people to not put them out to pasture to create the "perfect" product. I think it is perfect - a perfect blend of people who are somewhat more well heeled, professionals, and those whom we love simply because we love them. They sing because they must sing to welcome the birth of our Lord.
And Christmas is with those people, in a crowded choir loft, singing hymns, worshipping, and forgetting my own ego and the troubles of the world and rejoicing in the simple gift of music, friendship, and salvation.
And THAT is Christmas. . .
I am doubly blessed - possibly triply blessed - probably infinitely blessed. I have the privilige of being allowed to sing with several outstanding groups of people. Each group differs in many ways - none of them is less than the others.
First, as most of this blog is devoted, is Live Arts Maryland - the Annapolis Chorale. Several versions of that group: The Annapolis Chorale, The Chamber Chorus of the Annapolis Chorale, and one little pick up group - referred to either as "The Bag Ladies" or, as my favorite trumpet player suggested - "The Chamber Maids". I kind of like that last one :)
These groups are an amazing synergy of people who are devoted to music, orchestra players equally devoted, and led by a supremely devoted Maestro (no one really has a clue how devoted - but when you think he goes regularly from the Kennedy Center gig to us and still smiles about it - you know he wouldn't waste his time on something he didn't love). Each person brings the offering they have. It's the contrast between the widows mite and the Pharisees. . .she gave all she had. Some of us have more to bring than others - and the value of what we bring is valuable indeed. My Christmas season usually begins some time in November when I start rehearsing Messiah and various other Christmas items. . .and it's good - it's really good. I always try to step back and understand what is happening around me. Especially when we sing our last strains of Messiah into our carols. I look around me and I marvel that I get the privilege of participating. They do not need me - but I really need them.
The other group with which I sing is the St. Anne's choir. Weekly - through spring, summer, winter and fall - they show up. They sing music that typical church choirs that I have heard might not be able to tackle. They vary in age from people in their mid 30's to as old as in late 70's. Again - think about the widows mite - they each bring what they have and offer it to the Lord on a regular basis. None of them are perfect. Each of them show up faithfully to perform their service to the Lord. Not all of us can be acolytes or ushers or deacons - but the contribution we make to worship is valuable beyond count. People often show up at our church simply because of the music.
At Christmas they go beyond the call because they know they contribute to the worship experience of the congregation. They do a fantastic job. They are there because Jesus was born and it's their privilege to proclaim it in song. Never forget that the reason we all sing is because of the birth of our Lord. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a woman in her 70's glow with Christmas joy because our director thinks enough of people to not put them out to pasture to create the "perfect" product. I think it is perfect - a perfect blend of people who are somewhat more well heeled, professionals, and those whom we love simply because we love them. They sing because they must sing to welcome the birth of our Lord.
And Christmas is with those people, in a crowded choir loft, singing hymns, worshipping, and forgetting my own ego and the troubles of the world and rejoicing in the simple gift of music, friendship, and salvation.
And THAT is Christmas. . .
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Messiah Bullet Points
I like singing Handel's Messiah every year. Since it is a yearly event, I am able to mark the passing of time, the turning of years, and changes in my life and perspective. This will be my 6th year singing Messiah with the Chorale. So that I don't forget each year...here is a list of my Messiah experiences over the last 6 years:
- 2004 - "OMG Messiah" - OMG for many reasons...the first being that I had to learn the soprano part after having primarily sung the piece as an alto. Also, OMG because I had no idea a performance could be so moving...with a fabulous orchestra, good chorus, and in such a special space (St. Anne's Church). Oh, and OMG, my parents are here and I just moved away from everything that is comfortable in SC to everything that is uncomfortable in Annapolis!
- 2005 - "Adjusted Messiah" - I was beginning to make friends in the Chorale and get to know people. Little did I know that we were about to embark on the Florida version of the "Leap of Faith" Carmina Burana tour. This was also the year that I realized how comfortably Messiah lies in my color/tone vocally. It was comforting to sing something I already knew pretty well.
- 2006 - "Snarky Messiah" - I was in a horrible spot on the crowded altar this year. Horrible because I could barely move, and because I had a few..shall we say...under-pitch folks around me. It was literally almost impossible to sing. A few other friends were in rough spots too...and I think all we did was complain about it all weekend. That made it a tough experience...and I've vowed to just suck it up and put myself where I want to go ever since. Usually, if we are singing in a mixed configuration, I head for the tall back row in between two basses. Hey, it works for me...
- 2007 - "Messiah with the Toy Orchestra and 50 Soloists Across the Bay" - This year, my parents were visiting again...which meant the snow/ice arrived. You think they wouldn't bring that stuff up from SC, but somehow we always get it when they are here! On Saturday night, we had a performance on the Eastern Shore. It was rain/icy for most of the day, but we were still able to get across the bridge for the performance. The hall had ridiculously dry acoustics, though...so it sounded to us like we were all singing solos and the orchestra was playing toy instruments. Weird. The audience seemed to like it, though.
- 2008 - "Exhausted Messiah" - By the time we got to Messiah weekend last year, I was ready to crawl in a hole and hibernate for a month. There had been so many run-outs and concerts that I was physically spent. Add the welcome stress of a new romantic relationship...and I just wanted the weekend to be over! It passed by in a haze, but I do remember enjoying the music. Top row again meant I was in a happy singing spot.
- 2009 - "?" - So, what will the 2009 version of Messiah bring? Let's hope it's not "Blizzard Messiah" or "Messiah where Page finally loses it and hits someone", or "Messiah when Page and Lauren pass out since they ran 22 miles Saturday morning". I'm in a very nice singing spot this year...while not on the back row, it works. Considering the above possibilties, I'd be satisfied for this year to be "Uneventful Messiah". Even better would be "Musically Fulfilling Messiah". But hey, let's not push it!
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