The Weirdness fo the Choral Musician

We're all geeks.
People who do choral music for free are geeks and we should warmly embrace that label. Take for instance our chorus - in all its iterations - weird.

1. "Oh my God, he hates my voice". He really doesn't but all of us, me included, get all wrapped up in whether "he" likes the voice or not - as if it is a measure of our own worth that one person in a hundred doesn't like what we sound like.
2. [pouty face] "I dont' want to stand with _______"
Unfortunately, in our chorus, you won't find two choristers who actually like each others sound either. Very few people want to stand next to anyone not of their own choosing. I envision this scenario: Okay - everyone stand next to people you want to stand next to all the time - go. . .now. . those of you who feel like crap because no one wants to stand near you - you sit on the side. Geez. And here's the other weird thing - they think they get to choose where they stand, LOL. [This leads to a whole other discussion about submitting to the authority of the conductor, but no time for that here].
3. "But, I wasn't cast/put in small ensemble/etc." [pouty face] - we've all been there. Goes to our egos - choristers are egotistical - we thing we're as good or better than the next guy all the time. Again, LOL.
4. "I'm not really going to say what I mean but I'm going to say something". This goes to preserving our own hides whiile trying to make a point - LOL.

Recently, we've received a mysterious friend request from "Clueless Chorister". Analysis: Passive - aggressive or painfully shy; secretive and therefore suspect - saying things that can be read both ways; psychotic? Yet to be seen.

This goes to the straightforward thing. . . JUST say what you want and who you are.

Being the Rehearsal MANAGER can be a landmine of interpersonal relationships and you get used to the ideaa that you please no one. Take for instance our gig at SSHS where the man running the place, anonymous, said that I told him it was "his job" to . . . whatever. Fast forward two weeks later in discussion with a teacher at that venerable institution - "Oh my god, we've been trying to get rid of him for years. He's a lousy________. Even forced him to interview at a middle school. " I feel vindicated - he apparently makes things up that people say :) Of course, can I tell my conductor that - probably not - as he woudln't believe me and just think it was CYA. So, I suck it up. Wouldn't do any good to bring it up anyway.

See what I mean - weirdness. People who are Choral musicians are just weird.
We show up and rehearse with people we don't seem to like, with a conductor we don't seem to agree with, in a room we hate, doing music that we despise to look at during the week and we still expect that we will be treated well LOL

And thus ends my rambling for the day.
2.

Christmas - I've been gone a long time

Christmas is upon me again. . year 26 with Live Arts Maryland.
That's a long time committment.

This year has been very difficult trying to multi-task and maintain the focus necessary to sing well and keep the faith. I gain victories in small things. . . making things seamless is the best reward.

my voice is tired, I am tired and still a week of Messiah and then Christmas Week. . .I've done NO shopping.

Today I asked for help from some friends. I would really like to get it but I have a feeling they will just ignore it. It's so easy to stand and just sing. I said "yes" and with that 'Yes" came the realization that the job was hard. I think its made the choruses life easier - I hope so. I heard from one or two people last night who thanked me. . funny thing - it wasn't my closest friends. . .I don't understand that and it makes me a little sad. . .

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Simple words

Thank you
Thank you for the simplest words
Words like, "Good job".
Words such as, "My money's on you"
Words are so simple.
And sometimes you think they are wasted
They are never wasted
Each word falls like balm into the soul
Every word of encouragement - where there is far too little encouragement - delivers peace to a troubled heart
Never mistake that words are powerful, powerful
With a word you can turn the tide
With a word you can heal a wound or rip a heart wide open - so far that it may not ever heal
With a word you can forgive
You can also forget
Forget wrongs
Forget pain
Forget unappreciation
Forget slights
With a word - or two
Words like "I forgive"
Words that sound like "I'm sorry"
Words that heal

I don't understand some things

I know that I often expect other people to have the same set of values and expecations of themselves as I do of myself. Sometimes I just wonder about people and what they are thinking - particularly when it comes to music.

Take rehearsals for instance. I go to rehearsals not because I need to go - I go because its part of the requirement to be a good choral singer. If someone hired me to just come in at the last minute and sing - it would be a different experience - a job, if you will, instead of a joy. It irritates me beyond belief to have someone just post for a performance and sing as if they have every right beyond everyone else's to just waltz in and set up shop. I don't care how good you are. If someone isn't paying your butt to be in that seat because you are just so good there is no need to practice then, feel free. But when you arrogantly come in and just expect to sing - and yes, it is arrogance. It's disrespectful arrogance. It's saying tacitly that you feel you are better than everyone else that came to rehearsal on a night they didn't necessarily want to go to rehearsal. That suffered while other people learned the music. What it is saying about you is that you just don't have the character to do the right thing.

Obviously I'm passionate about this. I think that the whole of it is that I expect them to have the same standards that I do. Obviously they don't. Just as obviously there is nothing I can do about it. I just don't get how they can be aided and abetted in this endeavor by people who don't call them on their foolishness. If the standard is a standard for most - but not a standard for all - then some choristers really are more equal than others. . .. and that's just not right.

Divas

Tonight I was bored. . .and I took my last choice of place to go to be "unbored" and I ended up in the mall. I hate the mall. But.. like I said, I was bored. I looked around. Ran into a former student. Looked at purses. Looked at clothes.. nothing. . nothing was working for me. So, I went the place I should have gone to begin with - Borders. I browsed the books and was contemplating buying something to help my kids with their ACT test. I told you I was bored. Then I remember something I have been unconciously trying to remember since the Olympics - K.D.Lang. I want a K.D. Lang album - preferably with "Hallelujah" on it.
There is something amazing about her voice. It speaks right to my heart - goes there immediately on first sound and can rip it apart and pull it around. I have a very quiet K.D. Lang addiction. You see, in the circles in which I run she isn't a top of the line classical performer. Funnily, I think the only one who would get it would be my actual classically trained conductor. I sort of think he stands with me on the "good music is good music" curb. I was not disappointed. . love this album.
I did say divaS didn't I? Next CD. . . Renee Fleming. Same reaction to her as I have to K.D. Lang. She sings and I'm transported. I found an album with her singing love songs. . I haven't listened to it yet because I was busy listening to K.D. Lang but I will. . oh, I will. Two diametrically different Divas - each able to speak to my soul. Both are absolutely fantastic perfomers and I would pay good money to see either of them.
I am constantly amazed at the variety of music in my world. This blog is supposed to be about the Chorale. . well, mostly it is but - good music is good music darn it.

"The Best of all Possible Worlds"

So, how does a reference to Candide end up in a blog about Haydn and choral music? Strange alignment of planetary confluences? Or, simply a highschool English/History teacher who is currently immersed in both the book and Haydn's Creation? Choose the last one - trust me.
Last night was the first concert of a two concert run of Haydn's Creation. Not only that, we had a spectacular multi-media production to go along with the music. It was amazing. From where I was standing the overall experience couldn't have been any better. I received numerous kudos for the chorus came my way as I made the mad dash to the loft to protect the recording equipment from potential five finger discounts. It was very good.
Back to why I'm writing this blog - buzz kill. The other topic of this blog, besides my passionate affair with music, is the Chorale (to whom I am dedicated heart and soul) Like children that you gave birth to but who sometimes push your buttons - that's the Chorale. A sample of my last few days: "The call is too early!" "The lights are hot." "The chairs are backwards" "That singer behind me is terrible" "Ernie cannot hear me". Yes, all legitimate things that were told to me by otherwise mature individuals.
For "The Call is Too Early" guy. . . I said , "We've always come in an hour before concert. How about you call Ernie and tell him your concerns." His response, "Oh, that's okay, it's just too early." So I go into broken record mode and repeat same advice while dodging his overwhelmingly alcoholic breath and trying to decipher his slurring words. . Really? He's worried about the call time? One less hour to drink is how I see it.
For "The Lights are Too Hot" lady. . . I said, "Yes, they are hot." That's all I said. Several times in a theme variation but that's what I said. To her credit she finally said, "I guess that's just the way lights are. " She gets a gold star for that.
For "The Chairs are Backwards" consortium. . . What they do not realize is that a wonderful Maryland Hall employee named Michelle thought about us in advance and generously - without our asking - set up those chairs for us. Put that in your music and sing it!
For "That Singer behind me was Awful" lady. . . as I wasn't addressed directly but just came about this information second hand I would love to say what I could never say, "Suck it up Buttercup. . it ain't a bed of roses anywhere" My legitimate response would be, "And you sing perfectly all the time yourself? Ever think someone doesn't think you sound like Glinda?"
For "Ernie cannot hear me" lady. . . again, I received this second hand and my snarky remark would be "Thank God" but my other, legitimate response is "We are a chorus. No one of us needs Ernie to hear us individually. Isn't that the antithesis of what a chorus is?"
All of this aside - you'd think it would disturb my peace and tranquility and joy in what I do. I've learned that when people are complaining to you all you have to do is listen. My ability to change the situations is limited or non-existent at best. I don't know . . . just once, I'd like to enjoy a concert that was criticism and complaint free. I wonder if that will ever happen? Doubtful as I am surrounded by, gasp, human beings! Hmmm. . . I wonder if everyone can accept that.
I suspect that if I were to say - okay, sit where ever you want. . anywhere. . they'd all still complain about their seating arrangements. .
As a matter of fact, I'd put good money on it.