We're all geeks.
People who do choral music for free are geeks and we should warmly embrace that label. Take for instance our chorus - in all its iterations - weird.
1. "Oh my God, he hates my voice". He really doesn't but all of us, me included, get all wrapped up in whether "he" likes the voice or not - as if it is a measure of our own worth that one person in a hundred doesn't like what we sound like.
2. [pouty face] "I dont' want to stand with _______"
Unfortunately, in our chorus, you won't find two choristers who actually like each others sound either. Very few people want to stand next to anyone not of their own choosing. I envision this scenario: Okay - everyone stand next to people you want to stand next to all the time - go. . .now. . those of you who feel like crap because no one wants to stand near you - you sit on the side. Geez. And here's the other weird thing - they think they get to choose where they stand, LOL. [This leads to a whole other discussion about submitting to the authority of the conductor, but no time for that here].
3. "But, I wasn't cast/put in small ensemble/etc." [pouty face] - we've all been there. Goes to our egos - choristers are egotistical - we thing we're as good or better than the next guy all the time. Again, LOL.
4. "I'm not really going to say what I mean but I'm going to say something". This goes to preserving our own hides whiile trying to make a point - LOL.
Recently, we've received a mysterious friend request from "Clueless Chorister". Analysis: Passive - aggressive or painfully shy; secretive and therefore suspect - saying things that can be read both ways; psychotic? Yet to be seen.
This goes to the straightforward thing. . . JUST say what you want and who you are.
Being the Rehearsal MANAGER can be a landmine of interpersonal relationships and you get used to the ideaa that you please no one. Take for instance our gig at SSHS where the man running the place, anonymous, said that I told him it was "his job" to . . . whatever. Fast forward two weeks later in discussion with a teacher at that venerable institution - "Oh my god, we've been trying to get rid of him for years. He's a lousy________. Even forced him to interview at a middle school. " I feel vindicated - he apparently makes things up that people say :) Of course, can I tell my conductor that - probably not - as he woudln't believe me and just think it was CYA. So, I suck it up. Wouldn't do any good to bring it up anyway.
See what I mean - weirdness. People who are Choral musicians are just weird.
We show up and rehearse with people we don't seem to like, with a conductor we don't seem to agree with, in a room we hate, doing music that we despise to look at during the week and we still expect that we will be treated well LOL
And thus ends my rambling for the day.
2.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Christmas - I've been gone a long time
Christmas is upon me again. . year 26 with Live Arts Maryland.
That's a long time committment.
This year has been very difficult trying to multi-task and maintain the focus necessary to sing well and keep the faith. I gain victories in small things. . . making things seamless is the best reward.
my voice is tired, I am tired and still a week of Messiah and then Christmas Week. . .I've done NO shopping.
Today I asked for help from some friends. I would really like to get it but I have a feeling they will just ignore it. It's so easy to stand and just sing. I said "yes" and with that 'Yes" came the realization that the job was hard. I think its made the choruses life easier - I hope so. I heard from one or two people last night who thanked me. . funny thing - it wasn't my closest friends. . .I don't understand that and it makes me a little sad. . .
That's a long time committment.
This year has been very difficult trying to multi-task and maintain the focus necessary to sing well and keep the faith. I gain victories in small things. . . making things seamless is the best reward.
my voice is tired, I am tired and still a week of Messiah and then Christmas Week. . .I've done NO shopping.
Today I asked for help from some friends. I would really like to get it but I have a feeling they will just ignore it. It's so easy to stand and just sing. I said "yes" and with that 'Yes" came the realization that the job was hard. I think its made the choruses life easier - I hope so. I heard from one or two people last night who thanked me. . funny thing - it wasn't my closest friends. . .I don't understand that and it makes me a little sad. . .
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Simple words
Thank you
Thank you for the simplest words
Words like, "Good job".
Words such as, "My money's on you"
Words are so simple.
And sometimes you think they are wasted
They are never wasted
Each word falls like balm into the soul
Every word of encouragement - where there is far too little encouragement - delivers peace to a troubled heart
Never mistake that words are powerful, powerful
With a word you can turn the tide
With a word you can heal a wound or rip a heart wide open - so far that it may not ever heal
With a word you can forgive
You can also forget
Forget wrongs
Forget pain
Forget unappreciation
Forget slights
With a word - or two
Words like "I forgive"
Words that sound like "I'm sorry"
Words that heal
Thank you for the simplest words
Words like, "Good job".
Words such as, "My money's on you"
Words are so simple.
And sometimes you think they are wasted
They are never wasted
Each word falls like balm into the soul
Every word of encouragement - where there is far too little encouragement - delivers peace to a troubled heart
Never mistake that words are powerful, powerful
With a word you can turn the tide
With a word you can heal a wound or rip a heart wide open - so far that it may not ever heal
With a word you can forgive
You can also forget
Forget wrongs
Forget pain
Forget unappreciation
Forget slights
With a word - or two
Words like "I forgive"
Words that sound like "I'm sorry"
Words that heal
Sunday, May 09, 2010
I don't understand some things
I know that I often expect other people to have the same set of values and expecations of themselves as I do of myself. Sometimes I just wonder about people and what they are thinking - particularly when it comes to music.
Take rehearsals for instance. I go to rehearsals not because I need to go - I go because its part of the requirement to be a good choral singer. If someone hired me to just come in at the last minute and sing - it would be a different experience - a job, if you will, instead of a joy. It irritates me beyond belief to have someone just post for a performance and sing as if they have every right beyond everyone else's to just waltz in and set up shop. I don't care how good you are. If someone isn't paying your butt to be in that seat because you are just so good there is no need to practice then, feel free. But when you arrogantly come in and just expect to sing - and yes, it is arrogance. It's disrespectful arrogance. It's saying tacitly that you feel you are better than everyone else that came to rehearsal on a night they didn't necessarily want to go to rehearsal. That suffered while other people learned the music. What it is saying about you is that you just don't have the character to do the right thing.
Obviously I'm passionate about this. I think that the whole of it is that I expect them to have the same standards that I do. Obviously they don't. Just as obviously there is nothing I can do about it. I just don't get how they can be aided and abetted in this endeavor by people who don't call them on their foolishness. If the standard is a standard for most - but not a standard for all - then some choristers really are more equal than others. . .. and that's just not right.
Take rehearsals for instance. I go to rehearsals not because I need to go - I go because its part of the requirement to be a good choral singer. If someone hired me to just come in at the last minute and sing - it would be a different experience - a job, if you will, instead of a joy. It irritates me beyond belief to have someone just post for a performance and sing as if they have every right beyond everyone else's to just waltz in and set up shop. I don't care how good you are. If someone isn't paying your butt to be in that seat because you are just so good there is no need to practice then, feel free. But when you arrogantly come in and just expect to sing - and yes, it is arrogance. It's disrespectful arrogance. It's saying tacitly that you feel you are better than everyone else that came to rehearsal on a night they didn't necessarily want to go to rehearsal. That suffered while other people learned the music. What it is saying about you is that you just don't have the character to do the right thing.
Obviously I'm passionate about this. I think that the whole of it is that I expect them to have the same standards that I do. Obviously they don't. Just as obviously there is nothing I can do about it. I just don't get how they can be aided and abetted in this endeavor by people who don't call them on their foolishness. If the standard is a standard for most - but not a standard for all - then some choristers really are more equal than others. . .. and that's just not right.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Divas
Tonight I was bored. . .and I took my last choice of place to go to be "unbored" and I ended up in the mall. I hate the mall. But.. like I said, I was bored. I looked around. Ran into a former student. Looked at purses. Looked at clothes.. nothing. . nothing was working for me. So, I went the place I should have gone to begin with - Borders. I browsed the books and was contemplating buying something to help my kids with their ACT test. I told you I was bored. Then I remember something I have been unconciously trying to remember since the Olympics - K.D.Lang. I want a K.D. Lang album - preferably with "Hallelujah" on it.
There is something amazing about her voice. It speaks right to my heart - goes there immediately on first sound and can rip it apart and pull it around. I have a very quiet K.D. Lang addiction. You see, in the circles in which I run she isn't a top of the line classical performer. Funnily, I think the only one who would get it would be my actual classically trained conductor. I sort of think he stands with me on the "good music is good music" curb. I was not disappointed. . love this album.
I did say divaS didn't I? Next CD. . . Renee Fleming. Same reaction to her as I have to K.D. Lang. She sings and I'm transported. I found an album with her singing love songs. . I haven't listened to it yet because I was busy listening to K.D. Lang but I will. . oh, I will. Two diametrically different Divas - each able to speak to my soul. Both are absolutely fantastic perfomers and I would pay good money to see either of them.
I am constantly amazed at the variety of music in my world. This blog is supposed to be about the Chorale. . well, mostly it is but - good music is good music darn it.
There is something amazing about her voice. It speaks right to my heart - goes there immediately on first sound and can rip it apart and pull it around. I have a very quiet K.D. Lang addiction. You see, in the circles in which I run she isn't a top of the line classical performer. Funnily, I think the only one who would get it would be my actual classically trained conductor. I sort of think he stands with me on the "good music is good music" curb. I was not disappointed. . love this album.
I did say divaS didn't I? Next CD. . . Renee Fleming. Same reaction to her as I have to K.D. Lang. She sings and I'm transported. I found an album with her singing love songs. . I haven't listened to it yet because I was busy listening to K.D. Lang but I will. . oh, I will. Two diametrically different Divas - each able to speak to my soul. Both are absolutely fantastic perfomers and I would pay good money to see either of them.
I am constantly amazed at the variety of music in my world. This blog is supposed to be about the Chorale. . well, mostly it is but - good music is good music darn it.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
"The Best of all Possible Worlds"
So, how does a reference to Candide end up in a blog about Haydn and choral music? Strange alignment of planetary confluences? Or, simply a highschool English/History teacher who is currently immersed in both the book and Haydn's Creation? Choose the last one - trust me.
Last night was the first concert of a two concert run of Haydn's Creation. Not only that, we had a spectacular multi-media production to go along with the music. It was amazing. From where I was standing the overall experience couldn't have been any better. I received numerous kudos for the chorus came my way as I made the mad dash to the loft to protect the recording equipment from potential five finger discounts. It was very good.
Back to why I'm writing this blog - buzz kill. The other topic of this blog, besides my passionate affair with music, is the Chorale (to whom I am dedicated heart and soul) Like children that you gave birth to but who sometimes push your buttons - that's the Chorale. A sample of my last few days: "The call is too early!" "The lights are hot." "The chairs are backwards" "That singer behind me is terrible" "Ernie cannot hear me". Yes, all legitimate things that were told to me by otherwise mature individuals.
For "The Call is Too Early" guy. . . I said , "We've always come in an hour before concert. How about you call Ernie and tell him your concerns." His response, "Oh, that's okay, it's just too early." So I go into broken record mode and repeat same advice while dodging his overwhelmingly alcoholic breath and trying to decipher his slurring words. . Really? He's worried about the call time? One less hour to drink is how I see it.
For "The Lights are Too Hot" lady. . . I said, "Yes, they are hot." That's all I said. Several times in a theme variation but that's what I said. To her credit she finally said, "I guess that's just the way lights are. " She gets a gold star for that.
For "The Chairs are Backwards" consortium. . . What they do not realize is that a wonderful Maryland Hall employee named Michelle thought about us in advance and generously - without our asking - set up those chairs for us. Put that in your music and sing it!
For "That Singer behind me was Awful" lady. . . as I wasn't addressed directly but just came about this information second hand I would love to say what I could never say, "Suck it up Buttercup. . it ain't a bed of roses anywhere" My legitimate response would be, "And you sing perfectly all the time yourself? Ever think someone doesn't think you sound like Glinda?"
For "Ernie cannot hear me" lady. . . again, I received this second hand and my snarky remark would be "Thank God" but my other, legitimate response is "We are a chorus. No one of us needs Ernie to hear us individually. Isn't that the antithesis of what a chorus is?"
All of this aside - you'd think it would disturb my peace and tranquility and joy in what I do. I've learned that when people are complaining to you all you have to do is listen. My ability to change the situations is limited or non-existent at best. I don't know . . . just once, I'd like to enjoy a concert that was criticism and complaint free. I wonder if that will ever happen? Doubtful as I am surrounded by, gasp, human beings! Hmmm. . . I wonder if everyone can accept that.
I suspect that if I were to say - okay, sit where ever you want. . anywhere. . they'd all still complain about their seating arrangements. .
As a matter of fact, I'd put good money on it.
Last night was the first concert of a two concert run of Haydn's Creation. Not only that, we had a spectacular multi-media production to go along with the music. It was amazing. From where I was standing the overall experience couldn't have been any better. I received numerous kudos for the chorus came my way as I made the mad dash to the loft to protect the recording equipment from potential five finger discounts. It was very good.
Back to why I'm writing this blog - buzz kill. The other topic of this blog, besides my passionate affair with music, is the Chorale (to whom I am dedicated heart and soul) Like children that you gave birth to but who sometimes push your buttons - that's the Chorale. A sample of my last few days: "The call is too early!" "The lights are hot." "The chairs are backwards" "That singer behind me is terrible" "Ernie cannot hear me". Yes, all legitimate things that were told to me by otherwise mature individuals.
For "The Call is Too Early" guy. . . I said , "We've always come in an hour before concert. How about you call Ernie and tell him your concerns." His response, "Oh, that's okay, it's just too early." So I go into broken record mode and repeat same advice while dodging his overwhelmingly alcoholic breath and trying to decipher his slurring words. . Really? He's worried about the call time? One less hour to drink is how I see it.
For "The Lights are Too Hot" lady. . . I said, "Yes, they are hot." That's all I said. Several times in a theme variation but that's what I said. To her credit she finally said, "I guess that's just the way lights are. " She gets a gold star for that.
For "The Chairs are Backwards" consortium. . . What they do not realize is that a wonderful Maryland Hall employee named Michelle thought about us in advance and generously - without our asking - set up those chairs for us. Put that in your music and sing it!
For "That Singer behind me was Awful" lady. . . as I wasn't addressed directly but just came about this information second hand I would love to say what I could never say, "Suck it up Buttercup. . it ain't a bed of roses anywhere" My legitimate response would be, "And you sing perfectly all the time yourself? Ever think someone doesn't think you sound like Glinda?"
For "Ernie cannot hear me" lady. . . again, I received this second hand and my snarky remark would be "Thank God" but my other, legitimate response is "We are a chorus. No one of us needs Ernie to hear us individually. Isn't that the antithesis of what a chorus is?"
All of this aside - you'd think it would disturb my peace and tranquility and joy in what I do. I've learned that when people are complaining to you all you have to do is listen. My ability to change the situations is limited or non-existent at best. I don't know . . . just once, I'd like to enjoy a concert that was criticism and complaint free. I wonder if that will ever happen? Doubtful as I am surrounded by, gasp, human beings! Hmmm. . . I wonder if everyone can accept that.
I suspect that if I were to say - okay, sit where ever you want. . anywhere. . they'd all still complain about their seating arrangements. .
As a matter of fact, I'd put good money on it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My Letter to the Editor
This was in the Capital Newspaper in Annapolis tonight. Obviously, I feel rather strongly about my city and it's Arts CommunityDear Editor,
The whole controversy/uproar over whether or not the space near the Westin is going to work for Annapolis performing Arts groups is a discussion worth having. I am a member of one of those groups, Live Arts Maryland, but at the moment I'd like to put aside that argument and respond to a very disturbing remark that I read in another letter to the Editor.
The letter said that [we] were forced to attend concerts at the Strathmore, Washington D.C., and Baltimore if [we] wanted to attend quality productions. I would suspect that this person has never checked out the local Annapolis arts community. I have been a proud member of a thriving arts community here for almost 30 years. We have a symphony, an opera, a ballet, a chorale, theaters, coffee house venues, smaller ensembles, and galleries. In the past three years those groups have performed Papageno, Tosca, Mozart, Elgar, Rachmaninoff, Haydn, Nutcracker, Carmina Burana, Urinetown, Sweeney Todd, The Lion in Winter, Harvey, and a host of other pieces. They have contributed well and often to our community. When called upon to sing or perform for political functions or to support the city of Annapolis I can say with certainty that they do not hesitate to offer their services. They are well-rehearsed performers who bring their talent and passion to every stage and venue in town.
Do not tell me that you cannot find art in Annapolis. I would suspect that you simply have bought the idea that the "glamour" of big city productions means they are more worthy of your time and money. However, to deny the fact that you can find amazing groups performing here in Annapolis is patently untrue. Our city is a home for artists and performers who work very hard to make ends meet in this economy and who deserve the support of the local citizens. We are the capital of the state. Our LOCAL artists deserve the support of the community in order to promote the home grown talent and keep the money in Annapolis working for Annapolis. I'm not sure that supporting a venue that will bring the "real" out of town artists here is in the spirit of community that Annapolis represents. Before you say you cannot find real performers in Annapolis take this summer and fall to go to a live production of every theater, chorus, orchestra, ballet and opera in town. . .oh, wait - maybe you should take a year to do that because we have so much to offer.
The whole controversy/uproar over whether or not the space near the Westin is going to work for Annapolis performing Arts groups is a discussion worth having. I am a member of one of those groups, Live Arts Maryland, but at the moment I'd like to put aside that argument and respond to a very disturbing remark that I read in another letter to the Editor.
The letter said that [we] were forced to attend concerts at the Strathmore, Washington D.C., and Baltimore if [we] wanted to attend quality productions. I would suspect that this person has never checked out the local Annapolis arts community. I have been a proud member of a thriving arts community here for almost 30 years. We have a symphony, an opera, a ballet, a chorale, theaters, coffee house venues, smaller ensembles, and galleries. In the past three years those groups have performed Papageno, Tosca, Mozart, Elgar, Rachmaninoff, Haydn, Nutcracker, Carmina Burana, Urinetown, Sweeney Todd, The Lion in Winter, Harvey, and a host of other pieces. They have contributed well and often to our community. When called upon to sing or perform for political functions or to support the city of Annapolis I can say with certainty that they do not hesitate to offer their services. They are well-rehearsed performers who bring their talent and passion to every stage and venue in town.
Do not tell me that you cannot find art in Annapolis. I would suspect that you simply have bought the idea that the "glamour" of big city productions means they are more worthy of your time and money. However, to deny the fact that you can find amazing groups performing here in Annapolis is patently untrue. Our city is a home for artists and performers who work very hard to make ends meet in this economy and who deserve the support of the local citizens. We are the capital of the state. Our LOCAL artists deserve the support of the community in order to promote the home grown talent and keep the money in Annapolis working for Annapolis. I'm not sure that supporting a venue that will bring the "real" out of town artists here is in the spirit of community that Annapolis represents. Before you say you cannot find real performers in Annapolis take this summer and fall to go to a live production of every theater, chorus, orchestra, ballet and opera in town. . .oh, wait - maybe you should take a year to do that because we have so much to offer.
Creating
We sing Haydn's Creation this week. Until last night - I hadn't really connected with the piece yet. I have done it several times before and know it quite well. Does familiarity breed hasty contempt?
And yet, last night, I felt what Haydn felt -must have felt - when he composed the piece. I had chills on, "the wonder of his work displays the firmament". I wanted to shout, 'YES it does!' I'm with my conductor. I own the full box set to Planet Earth. The power of the series is displayed when you pop it into the video projector and a classroom of hardened, jaded, world-savvy, tough 10th graders just burst into spontaneous clapping! Wow, Planet Earth - awesome Miss E!
I am not sure what I believe about Creation. Gasp, my fundamentalist friends go. . . oh well, I'm sorry. For a long time now I pretty much have believed that it is irrelevant. It neither undermines my faith nor enhances it to believe one way or the other. Suppose God said, "Let there be life!" and . . . took his time about it? Hmm? Or suppose God said, "Hey, let's really mess with their heads. . watch this. . instant life - Carbon 14 manipulation! Boy are they going to be surprised when they all get to heaven and I show them the video!" Does it matter?
I serve an awesome God who made light from non-light. I am not particularly interested in how He did it. But it is amazing.
Haydn must have felt that in some way. I have a feeling all great artists are tuned into the Artist of the Universe in some way - they'd have to be. I think we musicians are closer than most though - after all, the morning stars sang together, people are singing around the throne of God - it's the only art that we will take with us to the next life! Gives me hope.
And yet, last night, I felt what Haydn felt -must have felt - when he composed the piece. I had chills on, "the wonder of his work displays the firmament". I wanted to shout, 'YES it does!' I'm with my conductor. I own the full box set to Planet Earth. The power of the series is displayed when you pop it into the video projector and a classroom of hardened, jaded, world-savvy, tough 10th graders just burst into spontaneous clapping! Wow, Planet Earth - awesome Miss E!
I am not sure what I believe about Creation. Gasp, my fundamentalist friends go. . . oh well, I'm sorry. For a long time now I pretty much have believed that it is irrelevant. It neither undermines my faith nor enhances it to believe one way or the other. Suppose God said, "Let there be life!" and . . . took his time about it? Hmm? Or suppose God said, "Hey, let's really mess with their heads. . watch this. . instant life - Carbon 14 manipulation! Boy are they going to be surprised when they all get to heaven and I show them the video!" Does it matter?
I serve an awesome God who made light from non-light. I am not particularly interested in how He did it. But it is amazing.
Haydn must have felt that in some way. I have a feeling all great artists are tuned into the Artist of the Universe in some way - they'd have to be. I think we musicians are closer than most though - after all, the morning stars sang together, people are singing around the throne of God - it's the only art that we will take with us to the next life! Gives me hope.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
LIfeskills 101
Being a musician is an education in how to live.
Things I've learned by being a musician:
1. What you want and what you receive are two entirely different things. For example, I want to stand in X position - great. Glad that is is your desire. Stand there. Lesson learned: oh, I can really bloom where I'm planted ;)
2. People are capricious. For example: I think we should all move counterclockwise while singing the Beethoven Missa Solemnis because it would make the sound better. Lesson learned: Oh, well, I don't get it but it did work. .hmmm. . maybe I don't know everything!
3. Be prepared: For example: Hmm, I cannot even begin to sing the notes, pronounce the words, and watch the conductor at the same time. Lesson learned: Best be prepared because you'll feel like a highly uncomfortable boob when you have to perform.
4. Everyone has a different take on it. For example: Wow, I really sang that well tonight. Followed by, you missed the 16th note on the top of page 124 and it totally ruined the whole piece . Lesson learned: Other people's opinions aren't necessarily the truth.
5. Passion is part of it. For example: missing an entrance because you were stunned by a previous part. Lesson learned: it's okay to let something go because you are investing time in your passion.
Just a few things that come to mind. There are a bazillion more things that I've learned being a musician. They/We are all temperamental in our own way. We all continue anyway. . . because to do less would be to not live.
Things I've learned by being a musician:
1. What you want and what you receive are two entirely different things. For example, I want to stand in X position - great. Glad that is is your desire. Stand there. Lesson learned: oh, I can really bloom where I'm planted ;)
2. People are capricious. For example: I think we should all move counterclockwise while singing the Beethoven Missa Solemnis because it would make the sound better. Lesson learned: Oh, well, I don't get it but it did work. .hmmm. . maybe I don't know everything!
3. Be prepared: For example: Hmm, I cannot even begin to sing the notes, pronounce the words, and watch the conductor at the same time. Lesson learned: Best be prepared because you'll feel like a highly uncomfortable boob when you have to perform.
4. Everyone has a different take on it. For example: Wow, I really sang that well tonight. Followed by, you missed the 16th note on the top of page 124 and it totally ruined the whole piece . Lesson learned: Other people's opinions aren't necessarily the truth.
5. Passion is part of it. For example: missing an entrance because you were stunned by a previous part. Lesson learned: it's okay to let something go because you are investing time in your passion.
Just a few things that come to mind. There are a bazillion more things that I've learned being a musician. They/We are all temperamental in our own way. We all continue anyway. . . because to do less would be to not live.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Easter, sinus infections, and music
Biggest time of the year for me. . .inclusive of Christmas. Easter is the longest and most difficult season to sing. Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday - music, music, music. Throw in a random 2 performances of St. Matthew Passion and you get a rather packed 2 weeks.
Added to that is the clogged ears as a happy by-product of a sinus infection and you have the potential for one frustrated chorister. Fortunately, my voice works. I just feel like I sound like I'm singing in a pillow. Not able to suck enough air to sustain long phrases but am adapting. I went to the doc on Friday and ended up on Augmentin. I'm hoping it kicks in before Wednesday.
In addition, I am starting to exercise this week regularly again. I slacked off - big time and now need to get back into it regularly - daily. So, many new challenges to take on.
I have adjusted to the addition of a new church choir member. . but am still leary of that person's addition to our fold. High maintenance doesn't begin to start the description. However, knowing that we are all high maintenance at times helps and that I have very clear boundaries.
So, I'll keep you posted about Easter.
Added to that is the clogged ears as a happy by-product of a sinus infection and you have the potential for one frustrated chorister. Fortunately, my voice works. I just feel like I sound like I'm singing in a pillow. Not able to suck enough air to sustain long phrases but am adapting. I went to the doc on Friday and ended up on Augmentin. I'm hoping it kicks in before Wednesday.
In addition, I am starting to exercise this week regularly again. I slacked off - big time and now need to get back into it regularly - daily. So, many new challenges to take on.
I have adjusted to the addition of a new church choir member. . but am still leary of that person's addition to our fold. High maintenance doesn't begin to start the description. However, knowing that we are all high maintenance at times helps and that I have very clear boundaries.
So, I'll keep you posted about Easter.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Selig sind. . .
Today, I have the opportunity to sing for a fellow choristers memorial service. Singers. . . even in death we want song. We want to celebrate the music that has moved our hearts and touched us deeply. Our songs define us in many ways. The songs that resonate with us ; that strike a chord in us. . . Your instrument is your voice - an integral, intimate, living part of your very being. There is no separation between the singer and the song. Maybe that is it. Once a song has become organic to you and part of you - even if you die - the song creates a lingering remembrance of you. Choristers - no one really pays us much heed. No one knows if we are intimately engaged (okay, maybe some can guess, but its not always obvious). And it has nothing to do with the quality of my voice. I can be entirely engaged as a singer and not make a beautiful sound. The sounds that come out of my vocal apparatus are produced because I love to sing.
The type of song that means the most to me varies and can be of any genre. The songs that resonate with me are as diverse as "Bridge Over Troubled Water", 'Breath of Heaven", the entire Brahms Requiem, Morten Lauridsen, Mozart "Ave Verum", Be Thou My Vision. . . . and a holy host of others.
When I die, I can think of no greater event than to have all the people singing. . . joining in the grand chorus which I have joined in heaven. Hopefully, God will save a place for me in the choir. . and maybe we'll sing mixed up!
Rest in Peace George
The type of song that means the most to me varies and can be of any genre. The songs that resonate with me are as diverse as "Bridge Over Troubled Water", 'Breath of Heaven", the entire Brahms Requiem, Morten Lauridsen, Mozart "Ave Verum", Be Thou My Vision. . . . and a holy host of others.
When I die, I can think of no greater event than to have all the people singing. . . joining in the grand chorus which I have joined in heaven. Hopefully, God will save a place for me in the choir. . and maybe we'll sing mixed up!
Rest in Peace George
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Two Shows - One Weekend
The impossible is now happening - I'm IN two shows in one weekend. This is a first. In addition to which, I am also simultaneously learning Bach and my part in Oklahoma in addition to playing in the pit (bell girl here) for Good News. Oh, and in the meantime I have to be an even dealer with the people around me.
Still, all in all, think about the excitement that brings into my life. Today, for example, I went to church at 9, sang in the choir for 1 1/2 services, went to Severn - worked from 12:30 - 2:30, took a dinner break, back at 4 and worked until 7:30, then home for a phone meeting with the stage director for Oklahoma. Tomorrow I have to copy 178 pages of score, get it bound, and back to Severn by a 2:00 o'clock downbeat, make a run chart for backstage at Maryland Hall, go to a rehearsal for Bach at 7 and then get home by 11.
I do what I do because it is FUN....as I define it. I love being involved with performing in whatever capacity I am in the performance. You see, it really isn't about me. I cannot deny that I get a kick out of it - no one does anything too long if it is painful - and to that end it does gratify me. However, it really is about creating something to give.
I don't have a lot of worldly possessions. What I have to give is my time, talent, and energy - and my brain I suppose. People keep telling me I've got one :) Sometimes I wish I hadn't listened to people who told me that performing would never make money. I let people tell me how talented I was when I was young - and I believed them. I was rejected for my college concert choir. I wasn't good enough. I would lay even odds that I'm performing more now than most of them. You cannot deny yourself your dream. I preach that to my kids.
I give what I have. I honestly don't know why people ask me to do what I do. I'm not just saying that. I don't know why they trust me. It even scares me when they think I can do a job that they ask me to do in the theater. Everything I've learned I've learned on the job - never took a course - never really became a professional performer/musician.
Here's what I do know. God, in His infinite mercy, gave me some talents to which I owe full effort. I owe effort and I owe fidelity. Fidelity to the highest level of professionalism that I can bring to that effort.
It isn't always easy. .okay, it's never easy. My nature is disinclined to be patient (for a teacher that is huge) and my nature is disinclined to suffer fools lightly. My nature is to have all my ducks in a row, make lists, have everything happen in MY time. What I've learned from performing is really, "to everything their is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven".
Let us rejoice in the complications that come our way. Oh, and take it from one who knows, when you are praying, never, I repeat, never ask God for Patience or Wisdom. Duck and cover when you do
Still, all in all, think about the excitement that brings into my life. Today, for example, I went to church at 9, sang in the choir for 1 1/2 services, went to Severn - worked from 12:30 - 2:30, took a dinner break, back at 4 and worked until 7:30, then home for a phone meeting with the stage director for Oklahoma. Tomorrow I have to copy 178 pages of score, get it bound, and back to Severn by a 2:00 o'clock downbeat, make a run chart for backstage at Maryland Hall, go to a rehearsal for Bach at 7 and then get home by 11.
I do what I do because it is FUN....as I define it. I love being involved with performing in whatever capacity I am in the performance. You see, it really isn't about me. I cannot deny that I get a kick out of it - no one does anything too long if it is painful - and to that end it does gratify me. However, it really is about creating something to give.
I don't have a lot of worldly possessions. What I have to give is my time, talent, and energy - and my brain I suppose. People keep telling me I've got one :) Sometimes I wish I hadn't listened to people who told me that performing would never make money. I let people tell me how talented I was when I was young - and I believed them. I was rejected for my college concert choir. I wasn't good enough. I would lay even odds that I'm performing more now than most of them. You cannot deny yourself your dream. I preach that to my kids.
I give what I have. I honestly don't know why people ask me to do what I do. I'm not just saying that. I don't know why they trust me. It even scares me when they think I can do a job that they ask me to do in the theater. Everything I've learned I've learned on the job - never took a course - never really became a professional performer/musician.
Here's what I do know. God, in His infinite mercy, gave me some talents to which I owe full effort. I owe effort and I owe fidelity. Fidelity to the highest level of professionalism that I can bring to that effort.
It isn't always easy. .okay, it's never easy. My nature is disinclined to be patient (for a teacher that is huge) and my nature is disinclined to suffer fools lightly. My nature is to have all my ducks in a row, make lists, have everything happen in MY time. What I've learned from performing is really, "to everything their is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven".
Let us rejoice in the complications that come our way. Oh, and take it from one who knows, when you are praying, never, I repeat, never ask God for Patience or Wisdom. Duck and cover when you do
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I Sing for a National Symphony Orchestra Conductor
. . .at least 3 times a week.
How amazing is that? How remarkable to think that I get to call this man who conducts this prestigious orchestra my friend.
How incredibly arrogant would it be to think I know better than him about anything musical. How incrediblyarrogant would it be to think his "advice" to me is to be nodded at patronizingly and my own counsel kept in the area of music.
How incredibly arrogant it is to argue with him in rehearsal about anything musical.
And yet - people do it all the time.
No one is perfect, least of all me or, for that matter, my conductor. However, when one sits in front of a master of their art- being teaching, lawyer-ing, ministering, or conducting one should assume that your grasp of the situation is probably less complete than the master in front of you. Back to the day of the "masterpiece". You are an apprentice, or at best a journeyman until you have produced your "masterpiece" in your field of endeavor. I am justifiably proud of my musical achievements - but they hold not a candle to my achievements in education. I am not now, nor will I ever, achieve "master" status in my chosen field of avocation.
What am I saying? That when we criticize or argue with a master in the field we had better be absolutely convinced of our position before we sally forth to do battle. I am often amazed at the lack of respect the chorister gives the conductor. Why is it that musicians who have never been to music school insist on arguing with someone who is successful - beyond successful in their field? Why is it that they insist on arguing with someone who has kept an arts group afloat for over 25 years? I don't get it.
What would I like to have happen? That everyone that I know would realize that they don't know everything. That they can learn if they keep their mouths shut and their opinions quiet until they have all the facts necessary to sally forth. THEN, if you are absolutely sure you know whereof you stand, then and only then should you respectfully question.
Sometimes we forget that our "friend" is also our leader/teacher/master in this area. Taht we absolutely do NOT know more - and that's okay. That our opinion, while still your opinion, is not applicable to the situation. And that if you are absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are right about how you sing, how the person next to you sings, how you feel about what is being done - then sally forth. Go, do battle. Be prepared, even then, to understand that you might lose - not because you are wrong - but because you are an apprentice.
Learn from those who know. Learn from experience. Learn from mistakes. But don't let your sense of pride keep you from learning. Sometimes you might be surprised that your carefully held convictions about how something "is" are wrong. I know I've been surprised many, many times in the last 4 years. I intend to go on being surprised and therefore increase my knowledge base by learning how to build my own masterpiece.
How amazing is that? How remarkable to think that I get to call this man who conducts this prestigious orchestra my friend.
How incredibly arrogant would it be to think I know better than him about anything musical. How incrediblyarrogant would it be to think his "advice" to me is to be nodded at patronizingly and my own counsel kept in the area of music.
How incredibly arrogant it is to argue with him in rehearsal about anything musical.
And yet - people do it all the time.
No one is perfect, least of all me or, for that matter, my conductor. However, when one sits in front of a master of their art- being teaching, lawyer-ing, ministering, or conducting one should assume that your grasp of the situation is probably less complete than the master in front of you. Back to the day of the "masterpiece". You are an apprentice, or at best a journeyman until you have produced your "masterpiece" in your field of endeavor. I am justifiably proud of my musical achievements - but they hold not a candle to my achievements in education. I am not now, nor will I ever, achieve "master" status in my chosen field of avocation.
What am I saying? That when we criticize or argue with a master in the field we had better be absolutely convinced of our position before we sally forth to do battle. I am often amazed at the lack of respect the chorister gives the conductor. Why is it that musicians who have never been to music school insist on arguing with someone who is successful - beyond successful in their field? Why is it that they insist on arguing with someone who has kept an arts group afloat for over 25 years? I don't get it.
What would I like to have happen? That everyone that I know would realize that they don't know everything. That they can learn if they keep their mouths shut and their opinions quiet until they have all the facts necessary to sally forth. THEN, if you are absolutely sure you know whereof you stand, then and only then should you respectfully question.
Sometimes we forget that our "friend" is also our leader/teacher/master in this area. Taht we absolutely do NOT know more - and that's okay. That our opinion, while still your opinion, is not applicable to the situation. And that if you are absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are right about how you sing, how the person next to you sings, how you feel about what is being done - then sally forth. Go, do battle. Be prepared, even then, to understand that you might lose - not because you are wrong - but because you are an apprentice.
Learn from those who know. Learn from experience. Learn from mistakes. But don't let your sense of pride keep you from learning. Sometimes you might be surprised that your carefully held convictions about how something "is" are wrong. I know I've been surprised many, many times in the last 4 years. I intend to go on being surprised and therefore increase my knowledge base by learning how to build my own masterpiece.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his words. . by one who gets it
Last night I attended a Washington Symphonic Brass production at Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts in Annapolis. The 36 of us who were there were moved by a piece that was performed by the brass with the words of Dr. King spoken by a former professor of my conductor friend E. This professor was a wonderful man - African American. In his youth, his amazing voice led him to pursue singing as a career. Unfortunately, he is of an age where the black man could not get hired - no matter how amazing he was. So, he went to Europe. Funnily or poignantly, he convinced European Opera houses that if a white man could sing in black face a black man could sing in white face. He went on to have a wonderful career in Europe. Meanwhile, the climate started to change in the U.S. and he came back to be a professor at both Howard and Peabody Conservatory.
He did not sing last night - he spoke. With power and resonance. He spoke the words of Dr. King. He spoke about equality and nobility of spirit and triumphing over odds that are staggering. It was so beautiful for its relevance to this gentleman's life.
I wish everyone could have heard it.
We all need to see one another as brothers. If music and words - the combination of which is more powerful than one can know - can convey that message then all should hear it.
He did not sing last night - he spoke. With power and resonance. He spoke the words of Dr. King. He spoke about equality and nobility of spirit and triumphing over odds that are staggering. It was so beautiful for its relevance to this gentleman's life.
I wish everyone could have heard it.
We all need to see one another as brothers. If music and words - the combination of which is more powerful than one can know - can convey that message then all should hear it.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
26 years and Counting
Some marriages don't last that long. . . .
that's how long my tenure has been with the Annapolis Chorale/Live Arts Maryland. Hopefully, I can continue that tenure as long as I am physically capable of singing well. Shudder. . . .
At the Gala last night I looked around the room and realized that each person I saw that I recognized was a gift that came with "purchase". If I weren't a member of this organization my life might not have the depth, color, and variety it has. I have no problem with saying that I owe the best part of my life to my involvement with this organization. There is no pride standing in my way there. It just IS.
I had a pretty good time. The people that I was sitting with all left before the show was over, the other couples at the table were Chorale members. It was fine. Some year I'd like to actually sit not in the back corner. I don't know who does the tables and - heaven help them - it's a task I wouldn't want. I guess sometimes I could be allowed a little "say" every now and then. I would like a front table because - well. . . maybe I've earned it once in a while? Maybe I've gotten a few points for job well done? My problem is I don't have any money and, as I was told last night, those tables are usually for people with money. Sigh. Oh well :) It is what it is.
The performers were fabulous - really fabulous. I think they all sang better than they sang last year. I liked the music better. It fit the audience better. It was shorter. Liked the auction better. It was a remarkable evening. I'm so blessed to know and be involved with those folks.
Now, onto thinking about St. Matthew, Haydn, and O. . .Klahoma. I need a 12 gauge shotgun - any takers?
that's how long my tenure has been with the Annapolis Chorale/Live Arts Maryland. Hopefully, I can continue that tenure as long as I am physically capable of singing well. Shudder. . . .
At the Gala last night I looked around the room and realized that each person I saw that I recognized was a gift that came with "purchase". If I weren't a member of this organization my life might not have the depth, color, and variety it has. I have no problem with saying that I owe the best part of my life to my involvement with this organization. There is no pride standing in my way there. It just IS.
I had a pretty good time. The people that I was sitting with all left before the show was over, the other couples at the table were Chorale members. It was fine. Some year I'd like to actually sit not in the back corner. I don't know who does the tables and - heaven help them - it's a task I wouldn't want. I guess sometimes I could be allowed a little "say" every now and then. I would like a front table because - well. . . maybe I've earned it once in a while? Maybe I've gotten a few points for job well done? My problem is I don't have any money and, as I was told last night, those tables are usually for people with money. Sigh. Oh well :) It is what it is.
The performers were fabulous - really fabulous. I think they all sang better than they sang last year. I liked the music better. It fit the audience better. It was shorter. Liked the auction better. It was a remarkable evening. I'm so blessed to know and be involved with those folks.
Now, onto thinking about St. Matthew, Haydn, and O. . .Klahoma. I need a 12 gauge shotgun - any takers?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Fascinating Music of the Night Rhythm
Music has such variety and delight! Last night as we were working on putting together the Gala it was simply wonderful. Picture a room full of 10 - 12 quality singers. Picture a very talented pianist. Picture wine and food flowing along with the tremendous good will. That was great. Then I was "forced" to listen to soloist after soloist rehearse. . .darn that :)
You know, I know lots of folks who are like me - choristers who simply sing the repertoire shoved in front of them - sometimes don't feel important because they aren't soloists. I think that sometimes this is part of some lack of urgency to learn music. Then we choristers have heard a LOT of soloists. We have a fairly decent handle on what we like and don't like. We do feel quite free to criticize what we don't like. Speaking for myself, I've never been to music school which, to my way of thinking, is what qualifies you to be a "real" musician. Hmmm. . .I'm not sure where the "years served" starts to give you an equivilency in a music degree program :) However, we NON real musicians sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong.
Last night was just pure fun. These unapproachable soloists on the stage in the midst of the spotlight are real people and are usually REALLY nice. We talked football and movies and religion and politics - they really aren't all "bubble boys/girls". I would say that most musicians - with a few exceptions - are among the smartest people I know. I don't know if this is because the pool of people from which I draw is largely that of musicians. I do know that they are stimulating conversationalists and compassionate individuals.
So the Gala. . is going to be fun. I hope the audience enjoys it. I gave up on the "going home" concept and took a room with my BF for the evening. We just have to get up early and go to church down the street anyway.
Let's all have fun!
You know, I know lots of folks who are like me - choristers who simply sing the repertoire shoved in front of them - sometimes don't feel important because they aren't soloists. I think that sometimes this is part of some lack of urgency to learn music. Then we choristers have heard a LOT of soloists. We have a fairly decent handle on what we like and don't like. We do feel quite free to criticize what we don't like. Speaking for myself, I've never been to music school which, to my way of thinking, is what qualifies you to be a "real" musician. Hmmm. . .I'm not sure where the "years served" starts to give you an equivilency in a music degree program :) However, we NON real musicians sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong.
Last night was just pure fun. These unapproachable soloists on the stage in the midst of the spotlight are real people and are usually REALLY nice. We talked football and movies and religion and politics - they really aren't all "bubble boys/girls". I would say that most musicians - with a few exceptions - are among the smartest people I know. I don't know if this is because the pool of people from which I draw is largely that of musicians. I do know that they are stimulating conversationalists and compassionate individuals.
So the Gala. . is going to be fun. I hope the audience enjoys it. I gave up on the "going home" concept and took a room with my BF for the evening. We just have to get up early and go to church down the street anyway.
Let's all have fun!
Friday, January 01, 2010
"Noting" the New Year
Personal resolutions don't do it for me usually. I'mnot much on 'self improvement' as I've discovered that while I do have goals for myself - they can begin whenever they need to begin - on any day of the year. Take January 11 - Why not? or, February 4.
In the New Year I hope for all things to be better. I want another chance at being my best self. This extends to my music. In the year 2010 I hope to continue to revel in the joy of music. To think less about what I'm giving to the pursuit of music and more of what I'm getting FROM it and be eternally grateful that God deemed me worthy of the talent to do what I do.
I want to grow as a musician - I want to stretch. Mostly, I want to relax and just enjoy the music. To be lost in the sound and the harmony and the text and the melody. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not be screwed up by over analyzation of how I produce. At the same time, I want to be aware of how I'm singing. One does not exclude the other - but I've found that a technically perfect performance is not nearly as satisfying as a soul wrenching, turn you inside out, leave nothing on the stage sort of performance. THAT is what I want to do. I do not think they are mutually exclusive but I've found that if you dwell on technicality - the fun disappears and the magic evaporates.
Be technical - but not technical first. Music is a soul thing. It isn't a head thing. One must find a way to connect these disparate parts of self and revel in the simple joy of creating. To dissect something is to understande its parts. How does that help you to know the joy of living? I can dissect a frog - but do I get what it means to be frog? That may sound silly, but bear with me. I can dissect a piece of music ( and I do) or I can dissect my performance - but does that help me to understand the soul and vitality of the piece - no. In order to find myself and my joy in a piece of music I have to have complete trust in the ride. Same reason I ride rollercoasters. I'm not afraid. I just want the joy - the exhiliration of the experience. Do I fasten my seat belt? Keep my head back? Duh - sure - it's only safe. I feel the same way about music. But if I never got on the ride - never connected with the simple thrill - how would fastening the seatbelt enrich that experience?
One thing I've learned about music - if you are in control in all aspects of your life, or striving for control - music is one place where you can simply immerse yourself in the production of something better than you. You have the tools - the notes, the words, the support of a musician or two other than yourself. Your head - that nagging little negative that you live with all day - needs to stay out of it. Make a mistake - and go on. . .one mistake or two or three doesn't ruin the whole piece. It's the whole. The gestalt. The soul that is important.
So, in the new year I expect to continue to be obnoxious about the sheer joy of making music. I get to do this. Daggone - I'm privileged to sing BACH! Think about that. Most people hum Barry Manilow tunes and think that's prettty cool. I have the entire repertoire of music at my disposal and I get to sing it - me, I get to produce it. . isn't that freaking amazing!?
Thank God for the privilege. May I continue to have it for my lifetime.
Ecstatically Yours
In the New Year I hope for all things to be better. I want another chance at being my best self. This extends to my music. In the year 2010 I hope to continue to revel in the joy of music. To think less about what I'm giving to the pursuit of music and more of what I'm getting FROM it and be eternally grateful that God deemed me worthy of the talent to do what I do.
I want to grow as a musician - I want to stretch. Mostly, I want to relax and just enjoy the music. To be lost in the sound and the harmony and the text and the melody. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not be screwed up by over analyzation of how I produce. At the same time, I want to be aware of how I'm singing. One does not exclude the other - but I've found that a technically perfect performance is not nearly as satisfying as a soul wrenching, turn you inside out, leave nothing on the stage sort of performance. THAT is what I want to do. I do not think they are mutually exclusive but I've found that if you dwell on technicality - the fun disappears and the magic evaporates.
Be technical - but not technical first. Music is a soul thing. It isn't a head thing. One must find a way to connect these disparate parts of self and revel in the simple joy of creating. To dissect something is to understande its parts. How does that help you to know the joy of living? I can dissect a frog - but do I get what it means to be frog? That may sound silly, but bear with me. I can dissect a piece of music ( and I do) or I can dissect my performance - but does that help me to understand the soul and vitality of the piece - no. In order to find myself and my joy in a piece of music I have to have complete trust in the ride. Same reason I ride rollercoasters. I'm not afraid. I just want the joy - the exhiliration of the experience. Do I fasten my seat belt? Keep my head back? Duh - sure - it's only safe. I feel the same way about music. But if I never got on the ride - never connected with the simple thrill - how would fastening the seatbelt enrich that experience?
One thing I've learned about music - if you are in control in all aspects of your life, or striving for control - music is one place where you can simply immerse yourself in the production of something better than you. You have the tools - the notes, the words, the support of a musician or two other than yourself. Your head - that nagging little negative that you live with all day - needs to stay out of it. Make a mistake - and go on. . .one mistake or two or three doesn't ruin the whole piece. It's the whole. The gestalt. The soul that is important.
So, in the new year I expect to continue to be obnoxious about the sheer joy of making music. I get to do this. Daggone - I'm privileged to sing BACH! Think about that. Most people hum Barry Manilow tunes and think that's prettty cool. I have the entire repertoire of music at my disposal and I get to sing it - me, I get to produce it. . isn't that freaking amazing!?
Thank God for the privilege. May I continue to have it for my lifetime.
Ecstatically Yours
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